We spend a few minutes going back and forth about our safety plan. It’ll be easy once we get out of the city. As long as no one follows us, we should be safe.
Shouldbeing the operative word.
I glance around the kitchen to make sure I’m alone. There’s nothing here I need to grab. So, why am I so frozen in place?
And then it hits me.
It smells like Pavel.
The scent is faint here, but it’s stronger in the hallway—and it intensifies as I head toward his office. Inside the modest space, the musk of him is so strong that it stings my eyes. My nostrils flare as I wander deeper into the office and pause near the bookshelf.
I hold up my phone.There’s only one way to make sure he can’t ever track me again.
I shove a few books aside and unlock the safe we use to store sensitive documents. I send Willow a text to not send anything anymore to my phone and then delete everything. I’ve all but factory reset the thing before I set it inside the safe.
Something fluffy touches my fingers. I recoil with a start, holding my hand to my heart as I peer into the safe. The office lights barely illuminate what’s inside. I have to turn on the flashlight on my phone to see what’s hiding in there. It’s my cardigan.
Tears fall uncontrollably. I reach into the safe and pull out the knit fabric, noticing the parts that are scorched.
I thought it had gone up in flames with the penthouse. But it’s been right under my nose this whole time. I never saw it in the safe before.
I shove my face into the fabric.
Itreeksof Pavel. Like he’s been using it as a pillow.
And maybe he has.
I remove the cardigan from my face and stare into it as though it were a crystal ball. Memories wash through me as I dig my fingers into the knit fabric: making dinner for Pavel, waiting for him outside his office door, his hand resting on the small of my back whenever we walked somewhere, the light dance of his lips over my cheek in the morning—Somehow, in this short time together, I built a life with him.
And now I’m going to tear it all apart.
I’m struggling to breathe. If I don’t get myself under control, then I can’t slip past Karina and grab my bag from upstairs. I have to stop thinking about Pavel. Ihaveto push him out of my mind.
But I can’t.
I don’t want to do it.
I don’t want this to be the end.
I close my eyes, a few errant tears sneaking their way to my jaw as I take a few shuddering breaths, wipe my face with my arm, and shove the cardigan into the safe.
He can keep it. I shut the door and wipe my face again.Let him remember exactly what he had. I walk toward the door.And exactly what he lost.
***
A little while later, I slip into Willow’s car. Shadows crowd her face as I fling myself over the center console and hug her tightly. She shivers.
I’m not the only one who’s scared.
“Ready?” she asks.
I nod as I drift back into my seat. I buckle myself in. “I am. Let’s go.”
The car moves gently away from the safe house. My upper back tingles with a distinct awareness that I won’t ever see this house again. Soon, I’ll never see Coney Island or New York again either.
Don’t look back. I blink away tears as we drive further and further away.Don’t you dare look back.Because if you do, then you’ll run right back to him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven