Just as that depressing thought took up root in her mind, Colleen’s cell phone rang and she rolled out of bed to grab her jeans off the floor. Fumbling through the pockets, she found her phone, saw the caller ID and winced. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie, how’s it going?”
“Great, really. Um...” She looked around for something to slip on. She couldn’t just stand there naked and chat with her mother. Finally settling for a sheet, she snaked it off the bed and wrapped it around her.
“So.” Laura’s voice was bright and happy. “Did you find the house you want to buy?”
Memories of the cabin rose up in her mind and she smiled wistfully. “I think so,” she said, “but I’m still looking.”
Because she loved that cabin and thought it would be perfect for her. But the question was, would she be able to live with the memories of what she and Sage had done there once they weren’t together anymore? Could she really face those memories every day?
“That’s wonderful, honey. It’s so nice of Sage to take the time to show you around.”
“Yep, very nice.” And so much more.
“I know it’s early to call, but I had to tell you, your aunt Donna is coming for a visit next week.”
“That’s great.” She could hear the excitement in her mother’s voice and Colleen sent another silent thank-you to J.D. for making this possible. Even if her own life was teetering on the brink of despair, at least her mother was having fun.
“We’re going to plan our trip together and get our passport photos taken together,” Laura said in a tangled rush of words. She kept talking, outlining her plans and laughing more than Colleen had heard her laugh in years. Finally, though, her mom slowed down and said, “You’re awfully quiet.”
“What?” Damn. She should have been paying closer attention. Her mother always had been really good at picking up on Colleen’s moods.
“Never mind trying to play it cool, kiddo. Spill it.”
Colleen dropped onto the edge of the bed, stared out at the view and took a deep breath before saying, “I screwed up.”
“Impossible.”
She laughed and a little of her depression lifted. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Tell me what’s wrong, sweetie.”
“I’m in love with a man who likes me.”
“But that’s wonderful.” Laura practically cheered.
Colleen shook her head and with one hand, pushed her hair back from her face. “I think you missed the most important part in that last sentence, Mom. He likes me. He doesn’t love me.”
“He will, though. How could he not?”
God bless mothers, Colleen thought with a sad smile. Though her mom would always support her, always believe in her, there was no way she could understand how Colleen was feeling right now. Her parents had fallen in love at first sight. They’d only known each other a month before they got married and they’d stayed deeply in love until the day Colleen’s father died. So with that kind of background, her mother would never be able to see just how hopeless Colleen’s situation was.
“It’s not that easy.” Not when his past held memories of a woman who had betrayed him.
“Who said it was supposed to be easy?” her mother asked, then added, “Okay, yes, your dad and I had it easy. We found each other and it all fell together. But Sage likes you. That’s not so far from love.”
Outside, the sky opened up and rain pelted the windows. They’d had sun, snow and now rain in just a few days. Colleen shivered a little and wondered if the storm was an omen. Then she dismissed that thought. No need to get crazy here.
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“Of course not,” she said, horrified at the thought. She’d like to hang on to a little bit of dignity if she could. “I can’t admit to that. How humiliating.”
“Or,” her mother said slyly, “how liberating. You risk nothing but a little pride. And honey, love is worth any price you have to pay.”
A few minutes later she hung up, but her mother’s words were still echoing through Colleen’s mind. Was she right? Should she tell Sage what she was feeling? Or should she just pack up her heart before it got bruised and run back to reality?
An hour later, she was dressed and downstairs, looking for a cup of coffee. She was packed and would be leaving as soon as she spoke to Sage. She just still hadn’t made up her mind what exactly to say to him and was hoping caffeine would help her think more clearly. When she heard Sage’s voice, she followed the sound without even thinking about it. Walking down the long, gloomy hall, her sneakered footsteps were quiet on the wood floor. She tapped gently on his office door, then opened it.