“I think I’d like that.”
After grabbing our bags, we paid for a room and headed upstairs. Both of us were exhausted. Maybe driving across the country wasn’t the best idea. I could have quickly flown us to D.C, and it would have been quicker. However, it wouldn’t give me the time I needed to figure out how to get our son. That was something I still hadn’t figured out. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I began to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to do it alone.
I needed help.
Instead of staying at the compound where my brothers were there to help, I let my anger get the best of me. Now I was going to have to figure all this out on my own. I knew I fucked up the second I drove out of the compound, but my pride refused to let me turn around.
I thought about calling Reaper several times. But every time I tried to dial the numbers, I just couldn’t. What would I say to him? He and my brothers were trying everything they could to get my son back, and I just threw it all back in their faces when nothing came of it.
Instead of taking it like a man, I acted like a petulant child.
God, I really fucked up this time.
Placing the bags on the floor of our room, I sat on the bed and hung my head.
“Reggie?”
Looking up at the love of my life, I plastered a smile on my face and just said, “I’m just tired, baby. Go shower. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Catarina said nothing as she sat next to me. Reaching for my hand, she whispered, “You know, if I had a group of friends that would do anything for me, nothing would stop me from asking for their help. So, you got angry. I am sure they understand. Call them Reggie. You won’t be able to forgive yourself until you do.”
“I said things.”
“And I am sure they did too, but what you are not realizing is that they know you have every right to say and feel what you did. It’s your son. Your child. They know that. You were acting like a scared parent, and it’s not going to be the last. Kids do that to us, and our protective natures come out when they are in danger. Ghost understands that, and Reaper will too, when his child is born. The fact of the matter is that you had every right to react the way you did. They know that. Now that time has passed, and tempers have simmered, you need to be the one to reach out first. Let them know you had a bad day. They will understand. And apologize. A simple sorry can go a long way to repair a friendship.”
I just looked at our hands intertwined.
Her hands were so small compared to mine.
So delicate.
So fragile.
“If we make good time tomorrow, we should be in Chicago by nightfall.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know if I can see them without Colin.”
“Then we won’t stop until we have him.”
“I don’t know how to get him back, Cat.”
“You will think of something. I know you will.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Then we will cross that bridge when it comes.”
“I need help.”
“I know,” she said, getting to her feet. “We can think about what to do next after we shower.”
Watching her disappear into the bathroom, I knew she was right. She always was. My woman had been to hell and back, and though she missed Colin desperately and had a few moments of sadness, she was still one of the strongest women I had ever known. Through this whole debacle, she still managed to hold her head up and never lose hope. I could see it clearly when I looked at her.
She honestly believed that I would bring our son home.
I just needed to figure out how to do that.