“No! You don’t get to baby me. Do you have any idea what happened to me? What they did to me? Your brothers. Men that wore the Golden Skulls on their backs. They were vile Max. They laughed. They thought it was funny. They bragged about how much money they were going to make. You were going to make. They tortured and raped so many before my eyes. They had no souls! They were evil, just like you, and you let them take me!”
Max said nothing as I continued condemning him. “Uncle Peter worked for them. He told me you did too. You all did. I watched Snake slice Chisel’s throat. Then they handed me over to that vile fuck Darrin Reynolds. I tried telling Peter he was the Collector, but he wouldn’t listen to me. I watched as that bastard shot and killed Snake and Peter. Dead. Their blood was all over me! And you knew! You worked with him. Helping him to steal people so you could make money. How in the hell am I ever going to trust anything you ever say? You don’t tell me anything. You keep everything bottled up. You won’t even talk to me.”
“I know you don’t trust me.”
“Your damn right I don’t.”
“But trust this, baby. When I find Darrin Reynolds, I will kill him.”
“What about the others, huh? What about the men who are still out there kidnapping, and raping, and selling these people to others? What about them? You talk about protecting me, but you can’t. No one can. They are everywhere Max. They don’t care who they take. And people like you just see dollar signs. All we are is cattle to you.”
Max grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Don’t you ever call yourself that. You are not cattle. You are mine. I love you. Yes, I fucked up. I didn’t know until you were gone. I knew when I went down to Louisiana that you’d never trust me again. I accepted that because you mean more to me than my own life. You hear me, Remi. I’m saying I love you.”
Tears were falling fast down my cheeks as I whispered. “Love didn’t stop them from raping me Max. I told them I belonged to you, and they laughed at me. They laughed!”
Max hugged me to him tightly as he cried too. “I know, baby. I killed them all. None of them will ever hurt another person again. Their souls were mine, and I collected them. Never again baby. I swear it. Never again.”
I don’t know how long I stayed in his arms as I cried. In a way, I thought it cathartic. I cried in the arms of the devil.
The Reaper.
As he wept too.
The days wore on, and I found myself with more energy but still unable to stand for long periods of time. Healer wasn’t joking around when he said short bursts. My max time was ten minutes tops before I got weak and needed to sit back down. The brothers had taken it upon themselves to carry me around; that way, I was still apart of everything in the club, but that didn’t last long when Max found out. Since then, I’d been helped by the therapist Healer had hired. Her name was Elizabeth, and she was sweet. She’d moved to northern California a few years ago from New York wanting a fresh start.
I was sitting on one of the loungers in the common room, enjoying the bright sun as it filtered in from the front doors. Shamrock had made me a little space near the front of the common room, so I could feel as if I were outside but still secured within the clubhouse. It was sweet of him, but I really wanted to feel the sun on my face. The brothers were going about their day as if nothing were wrong as they laughed and joked like normal. I watched as my brother Jax followed Savage, talking a mile a minute. Savage laughed at something Jax said and then picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder. My brother laughed loudly, enjoying the roughness.
My sister Sunny was currently shopping at the mall with Caroline. Apparently, Caroline said that Sunny needed some more clothes. I didn’t understand why considering she had a full closet at the house. But what did I know? I only went to the mall once with Shamrock and Snake and found myself lost with everything I saw.
I tried not to think of Snake or Peter. It hurt too much. I loved them both and would have done anything for them. Yet they betrayed me and paid with their lives. Shamrock didn’t mention Snake around me, but I could see the sorrow on his face at times when he missed his brother.
Two little boys came running from the kitchen as they headed for the outside, with their mother running after them. Patty. I remembered her. She was still here, helping wherever she could. According to Shamrock, Patty had taken over the cooking for the club, and the brothers were grateful. I found out that Patty’s husband was in the military and still deployed, and until he returned, she and her sons would be staying here. Not that I minded one bit. Patty was a sweet woman who had lately been sneaking me some of her baked goods when she found out I took a liking to them.
Max and I hadn’t spoken since that day where we both cried, and though I was willing, he was not. Instead, he kept busy doing whatever it was he did. Shamrock told me it was club business, and though it never bothered me before, it did now. I wondered what it was precisely that occupied his time. Was he still doing those vile things? I know he said he wasn’t, but we really hadn’t talked about it all. I needed to know the truth, and the one person who could tell me was avoiding me.
At nights, he would just come into our room and sit in a chair. He would watch me sleep. It was creepy, yet deep down, he made me feel safe. I still didn’t trust him, and he knew it.
The day was beautiful. Normal. Everything was as it should be. Life moved on. Sitting on the lounger, I looked down at my hands, noticing the brace Healer put on my fingers after he reset them. They no longer hurt, and the bruising was beginning to fade. I reached up and felt the gauze that still covered my head, closing my eyes. I knew there was no hair underneath, just scars and stitches that Healer checked regularly. My body was littered with cuts and bruises that hadn’t healed. I knew in time they would, but the scars ran deep.
I didn’t know it, but when I saw a teardrop on my hand, I paused to wipe my eyes. I’d cried so much since I had returned. I thought I was all dried up. Apparently not.
“Please stop.”
“I can’t.”
“Tell me what to do.”
“I don’t know.”
Instantly his arms were around me, holding me as my tears came in earnest. “I can’t get them to stop.”
“Then let them all out.”
That’s where I stayed. In his arms, on the lounger with the warm sun shining on my face as Max held me until I cried myself to sleep.
TWENTY-EIGHT
REAPER