“Is there another I don’t know about?”
“Got it, boss. Sunrise hotel. Gadget. Answer questions.”
“Good. Expect me in twenty-four hours, and I too will want answers.” I said, flicking my hand across my neck, telling Ghost to end the call. Getting to my feet, I ordered Ghost. “Get the boys ready. We ride through the night. Phantom, do your tech thing. Search all the electronics if you must. I need to know this place is secured.”
Leaving the room, I heard Phantom ask, “Was that an apology?”
Ghost chuckled, “Better than anything I’ve gotten.”
Making my way back to my room, I jumped in the shower and tried to cleanse the last two weeks of shit from my soul. It wasn’t going to be easy, but for Remi, I was willing to do anything. She needed me to be strong, not the whiny bitch I’d been lately.
Trying to relax and breathe was never one of my strong suits. I could never meditate or just be. I needed action, something forceful to calm the demon that lived within me. As it was, my demon was at his boiling point, and I knew eventually he would spill over, causing death and destruction.
After my shower, I dressed quickly, then reached for my cut. Putting it on, it felt strange, almost as if I were an imposter, unworthy of what it meant. For too long, I allowed my demon to take control, alienating me from my club, brothers, and family. Then Remi came and changed all that for a time. I needed her back with me like I needed air. I would get her back. I had to.
Taking a deep breath, I left my room and headed downstairs to find the men waiting, ready for war. I could feel the electricity in the air, the need for vengeance, blood, and blood they would get. The common room was full of brothers, my family, other women, and children who would be staying behind to make sure the compound was safe. I saw my mother, with Patty and her boys, my sister with a small girl in her arms standing next to Ghost. I cocked my head when I saw her. Mia just grinned and shrugged her shoulders.
“Mia. She looks like Ghost.”
“Yes, she does.”
“Should I ask?” looking from Ghost to the little girl in her arms.
“Later,” my sister smiled, kissing my cheek, then looked up at Ghost, who smiled. Oh yeah, there was a story there that I would have to hear later. Right now was not the time.
Looking at Ghost as he handed me my guns and pack, Healer walked over and said, “Take these. They’re just caffeine pills, but they will clear your head and keep you awake.”
Taking them without complaint, I swallowed the two pills and nodded.
“Who’s staying?”
“The prospects, Viper, and Smoke. They will coordinate with Player and Phantom while we are down there. If anything happens, we will know instantly. Brian is also going to be here until we return.”
“Any word from Bullseye?”
“No,” Healer said. “You know Bullseye. When he gets a hunch, he doesn’t come home until he has answers.”
“He’s been gone for over a month now.”
“He will call in when he feels it’s time. I did send him a text and let him know what was going on and where we are heading.”
Without saying another word, I left the clubhouse and headed for my bike, knowing my brothers were about to follow me into hell.
The long ride was grueling from northern California to southern Louisiana, and when we pulled into the Sunrise Motel, later the next evening, I was exhausted. The long ride had taken its toll on me, and more than once, Healer had to give me another boost. I had gotten weak from misery over the last few weeks, and I hated showing my brothers how vulnerable I had become. Yet none of them said a word, each helping and going above what was required of them. I should have been the strong leader they needed, looked up to. Instead, they took care of me. It was humiliating yet comforting to know that my brothers had my back no matter how crazy I was towards them.
Even Player, who I had physically hurt, had ridden beside me for a time to protect me and make sure I was doing okay. I owed him so much more than I could ever repay.
When I parked my bike and turned off the engine, Ghost ordered, “Massacre, get our rooms, Grimm go with him.”
The brothers did as they were told as I got off my bike and stretched. My body ached from the lack of riding. It had been too long. My weakness was showing. I couldn’t help but feel like a fucking fraud. When Massacre returned moments later and handed me my room key, I took it and headed for my designated room, eager to hide my shame within the walls.
Shutting the door behind me, I slid down the wall, gasping for air. Slamming my fist against the floor, I wanted to shout at the world for everything that was going on. My inability to control my anger, weakness, my failure to protect Remi made me the pussy I was now. Reaching for the picture I kept from Phantom, I looked at her. She was the only thing on the planet that got me. She understood my demons and accepted me for who I was. She let me be me, flaws, and all.
“Reaper,” Ghost knocked on the door, making me jump. Quickly getting to my feet, I put her picture back in my cut, rubbed my face with my hands, and opened the door. “Yeah.”
“You want to talk?”
“No.”