He slapped one hand to the door as if to prevent her from closing it. “Can I come in?”
So, then, no dream.
“I don’t think so,” she said, though it cost her. What she wanted was to throw herself into his arms and feel him hold her close again. She wanted to feel. To come out of this half-waking life she’d been living.
But at the heart of all of this, in spite of her wants and needs and wishes and dreams, lay one truth. Griffin hadn’t just walked away from her. He’d walked out on Connor. He’d broken her son’s heart, and she didn’t think she could forgive him for that.
“Okay,” he said quickly, “I can understand that. You’re pissed. You’ve got a right to be.”
“It’s way beyond pissed, Griffin,” she told him and felt her spine snap into place. “You disappeared. Connor’s been asking for you every day, and all I can tell him is that you had to go away.”
His jaw clenched, and he let his head fall back for a moment. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
“I heard you, you know,” she said, deliberately keeping her gaze locked on his. “That day on the beach when you told your brother you felt sorry for Connor. Well, he doesn’t need your pity. And neither do I.”
His head dropped to his chest before he looked at her again. “That was bull. I never felt sorry for Connor. Why the hell would I? He has everything. He has you.”
One small hurt washed away with his words. But it wasn’t enough yet.
“I’m sorry, Nicole. For so damn much.”
“I’m not the one you need to say that to. Well,” she corrected, “not the only one.”
“I know that, too,” he told her, meeting her gaze again. “The reason I came here now, in the middle of the night, was to make sure Connor was asleep. So if you tell me to go away, I will, and he’ll never have to know I was here.”
She flinched.
“But don’t tell me to go away,” he added quickly.
“Why shouldn’t I?” she asked warily.
He bent down to retrieve a large white bag that sat at his feet. She hadn’t noticed it before. No surprise, since she hadn’t been able to take her eyes off him.
Reaching into the bag, he pulled out a small, green velvet box.
Nicole’s heart actually stopped. She slapped one hand to her chest as if to get it beating again. If this was a dream, she really didn’t want to wake up this time.
Opening the box, he showed her the ring inside. “A star sapphire,” he said. “Because it reminds me of your eyes. A deep, rich blue, but with stars and secrets hidden in their depths.”
“Griffin...” Shaking her head, she looked from the beautiful ring to his face, to his eyes, and what she saw there stole her breath.
This was way better than her dreams, Nicole thought. The promise, the love, the future she saw in his expression was more than her mind could ever have conjured.
“There’s more,” he said before she could say anything else. He dipped into the bag again and pulled out a fireman’s hat. “It’s for Connor,” he said unnecessarily. “He really loved sitting on that fire truck, so I thought...”
She reached out and took the hat from him, running her hands over the slick, plastic brim. It was bright red, with a shiny gold plastic badge, and Connor would love it. Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at the man watching her so stoically.
“Please let me in, Nicole,” he whispered.
How could she not? Even if she only wanted to cling to her anger and hurt, she would have been moved by this late-night visit. But she wanted so much more than to stay mired in pain.
Nodding, she stepped back, and once he was in the house, he closed the door, sealing them into the room together. He took the fire hat from her and set it down onto the nearest table.
The room was dark, lit only by the television and from the streetlights outside. Still clutching the ring box in one hand, Griffin reached out and used his free hand to stroke her cheek. The feel of his skin against hers again was magic, Nicole thought, and she fervently hoped that there was a forever here they could both grab hold of.
But first, she had to hear him out. Had to be sure that he’d never leave again. She could risk her own heart, but she wouldn’t put her son’s happiness on the line.