Let himself find what he’d been missing for too long.
* * *
She was an idiot. There was no other explanation, Kayla thought, when her brain at last kicked back into gear. Her body was still humming, buzzing with sensation. But already her mind was listing the innumerable reasons why she shouldn’t have done what she had. First on that list was that she didn’t trust Matt and had good reasons for it.
He hadn’t explained anything, really. Yet that hadn’t stopped her from making the same damn mistake all over again.
Heat rose up inside her. How easy it was for her heart and her body to forget the past and concentrate on the now. She couldn’t believe it. Pain twisted with misery and the still-powerful hum of desire and became a tangled mess deep inside her.
Closing her eyes, she swallowed the groan of regret that built up in her chest. When he lifted his head and looked into her eyes, Kayla braced herself for whatever was coming next. If she were to go by history, any minute now he’d be leaping out of bed and driving to the airport.
“I’ve waited a long time for this,” he said, voice tight and low.
“You’ve waited?” Shaking her head in amazement, she gave him a slight shove and he responded, rolling to one side, but keeping her pinned closely to him. She set one hand on his broad chest and levered herself up so that she could look down at him. “You’re the one who stayed away, Matt.”
“I know. And running marketing for Lassiter Media L.A. has kept me damned busy, but I should’ve come back before this.”
“You’re right.” Slipping out of his hold, she scooted to the edge of the bed and off. “Just like I shouldn’t have done—” she waved one hand at both him and the rumpled bed “—this.”
“Like I said before, we were born to do this,” he argued.
They were, her silly heart shouted. They really were.
“Sure, until you leave again.” She looked at an imaginary watch on her naked wrist. “In fact, you should be grabbing your clothes and making a run for it right about now, shouldn’t you?”
He frowned, rolled off the bed and stood there, staring at her. “I’m not running. I’ll be right here until after the wedding at least. Cheyenne’s still my home, too, Kayla. At least part of the time. And even if I return to California, I won’t be staying away this time. And I want you in my life.”
A part of her warmed to hear that, but how could she believe him? How could she let herself trust again? He was going back to California and the life she had chosen was here. In Cheyenne.
“You should go,” was all she said. It was better this way. Better that she be the one to tell him to leave. Quickly, before she started believing again.
“You don’t want me to go, Kayla.”
“This isn’t about want,” she said quietly. If it were, she’d grab him, and let them both fall back onto the bed. “This is about need. And right now, I need you to go.”
He looked as if he wanted to argue. His eyes flashed and his mouth worked as if he were struggling to hold back a torrent of words trying to escape. Seconds ticked past and Kayla held her breath, hoping he would leave before her self-control dissolved into a fresh puddle.
“Fine,” he said at last, and she didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed.
Before she could speak, he continued. “I’ll go. For now. But I’m not going far.”
Kayla took a deep breath and held it, unsure of just what he was really saying.
He stalked around the edge of the bed until he was beside her, then he grabbed hold of her and pulled her in close. Staring down into her eyes, he said, “I’m home. At least for the next month, I’m in your life, so you’d better get used to having me around.”
* * *
Kayla was shaken and she didn’t want to be. Didn’t want having Matt in her house again to matter. But it did. Over the next two weeks, she couldn’t find peace in her own house because the memories were too thick. She could still smell him on her pillows. She dreamed of his arms being around her in the night and when she woke up every morning, Matt was the first thought in her mind.
And not once had he even tried to get back into her bed. Which was making her even more insane. How could he talk about wanting her and then do nothing about it? Was he acting this way on purpose? Driving her to the ragged edge and leaving her hanging there?