It’s nothing like what I would have worn for my wedding to Diego or some other man my father would have chosen for me, and maybe that’s why I like it so much. It’s a white lace dress in a floral pattern, the hem long enough to probably come just above my knees, the skirt slightly flared out. The sleeves are elbow-length, fringed in the same eyelash lace the hem is fringed in, and the neckline is a modest sweetheart cut. It’s simple and beautiful, and I feel myself tearing up all over again as I nod.
“It’s perfect,” I whisper.
“Then we’ll take it. Can she change here?” Niall asks, and the girl shrugs.
“Long as you hurry up.”
“We can do that.” He pays her and then hands me the dress, some emotion I can’t quite read in his eyes. “I know it’s supposedly bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, but I think we’ve had all the bad luck the universe can dish out at us already. There’s nothing traditional about this wedding as it is.”
“I don’t believe in superstition,” I tell him firmly. “I’d rather walk to the church with you in my dress.”
“Neither do I,” Niall says with a small smirk. “Though my Gran would roll over in her grave, and my mother too, probably, if she heard me say that. Irish superstition runs deep.” He presses the dress into my hands. “Get changed, so this lass can close up shop.”
Now I know something about his family,I think with a faint pang as I disappear into the dressing room.Without him really meaning to tell me, probably.I know his mother and grandmother are dead, and I wonder what else I have left to find out about his family.What about his father? Does he have siblings?
I manage to get the dress zipped up, and I look in the mirror, feeling my chest clench with emotion all over again. I don’t have a bouquet or a veil, but I still look like a bride, with the white lace dress and my hair braided around my head, a few pieces falling out around my face. I touch my hand where Diego’s ring used to be, and it feels good to have it gone.
When I walk out, I hear the girl at the counter make a soft sound of surprise, but all I care about is what the look on Niall’s face will be. I’m almost afraid to see it. If there’s nothing, if he doesn’t care, it will hurt—just as much or more than anything else tonight.
But when I step out, and he turns at the sound of my footsteps, there is something on his face. Just a glimmer of emotion, a softening of his face, and a flicker of heat in his eyes, though it’s all quickly wiped away. But it was there, and that makes me feel better as I reach for his elbow gently, looking up at him. “Ready to go?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” He smiles at the girl behind the counter, who shrugs and waves at us carelessly, and then we’re outside again in the cool desert night, making our way towards the church. It makes me think of other nights like this with Niall, the cool air on my skin and the dusty dry scent of the desert in my nose, nights when he pushed me against stone walls and kissed me hungrily, nights on his motorcycle and in his bed.
I don’t think that’s how tonight is going to end.
The church is small, and as we walk in, low-lit and quiet. At first, I’m not even sure if there’s a priest there, until there’s the sound of footsteps as we walk down the aisle, and he appears from a doorway at the side of the church.
I try not to think about what all this should mean for us—Niall and I walking down an aisle together, how much more I like the possible symbolism of that rather than the traditional way of me going to him. If this were arealwedding, I would feel like it meant something, the two of us walking into our new life side by side. But this is all just a means to an end, and I try to silence my romantic heart, to stop looking for meaning in things that certainly don’t matter to him and shouldn’t matter to me.
“You look like you’re here for a wedding,” the priest says, eyeing Niall and me. He looks about middle-aged, balding a little and pleasant enough, “but I don’t have anything on the calendar, particularly this late in the evening.”
“Bit of a spur-of-the-moment decision,” Niall replies, forced cheerfulness in his tone. “Can you help us out, Father—”
“Hernandez. Father Hernandez. There’s an order to these things, son, steps that need to be taken before you say vows—”
“Aye, I know,” Niall says. “Banns, counseling, the lot. My girl and I find ourselves in a bit of a predicament here, though, and I’d like to make things properly official tonight. I can make it worth your while, Father.”
His girl.It’s not just the casualness with which he says it that makes me glance at him in surprise, though, my heart skipping a beat even though I know it shouldn’t.Bribing a priest?I wouldn’t have thought of such a thing—priests are supposed to take vows of poverty, after all—but to my shock, I see the priest’s demeanor instantly change.
“Well, I suppose exceptions can be made, in certain cases, for an appropriate…donation to the church.” The priest raises an eyebrow. “What kind of donation were you thinking?”
Niall steps forward, a little in front of me, taking some bills out of his wallet. “Would this be sufficient, Father?”
The priest’s eyes widen. “I think I could accommodate you tonight. Do you have witnesses?”
“No.” Niall shakes his head. “Just the two of us.”
“Well then. I’ll find someone to witness. Just wait here—” The cash Niall handed the priest disappears into his pocket, and he turns, hurrying down a row of pews.
I turn to Niall, looking up at him with shock. “You bribed a priest!” I whisper in a hushed tone, and for the first time since I left Niall’s hotel room for the last time, he starts to laugh.
“Did you think priests were above bribery, Isabella?”
My face heats, but I don’t think he’s laughingatme. “It’s a sin,” I tell him with mock indignation, and Niall snorts.
“Lass, I think bribing a priest is far down the list of sins we need to be concerned with. For myself, I’m certain of it.”
I feel my skin warming at the familiarlass. He hasn’t called me that in what feels like so long, not since our last night together, and even as I remind myself not to make more of it than it is, it makes me feel like he’s softening towards me.