18
NIALL
The blood test says the girl is pregnant.
At that moment, I feel something so unfamiliar that, for a moment, I don’t even recognize it.
I never wanted children. I wanted them less than I wanted a wife. My parents wanted that for me—for me to fill up that old grey house with a family, but I never saw it in the cards for me. Even with Saoirse, when I’d wanted to make her mine forever, when I’d known I’d have married her if she’d been willing to leave Connor, I still had no desire for children. When Saoirse had suggested her plan to me, to sleep with me on the side when she’d satisfied her bargain with Connor, that was the one part of it that I’d never changed my mind about—the fact that that arrangement necessarily precluded us ever having babies of our own.
My life, the way I live it, and the things I’ve done and will almost certainly continue to do, are barely conducive to a marriage. I’ve seen men do it before, but the ones who succeed are almost always the Lucas and Viktors and Connors and Liams of the world, the ones high enough up that it’s hard to touch them. Even then, wives and children are collateral damage sometimes. For men like me, Jacob, or Levin, it’s all the more likely. If someone wants to punish us, they do it via the ones we love.
This is proof enough of that.
So no, I never wanted children. I never saw myself as a father. And yet, in that one instant when I hear the doctor’s pronouncement and know that the baby must be mine, I feel something crystallize within me that I barely understand.
A love for something that doesn’t even really exist yet—and a protectiveness beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I feel every part of me tense, waiting for what comes next,needingto not only protect my child, but the woman carrying it. I’d wanted to protect Isabella before, to save her, but now the need is driving me nearly mad, pushing me to make decisions that are far beyond irrational.
When Diego gives the order to provide her with the pills that will abort the pregnancy, as I’d known he would from the moment the doctor announced it, I feel a black rage spreading over me. When Isabella starts to fight, even though it puts me in danger, I’m proud of her, even as I feel the cold metal of a gun to my head, even as I know her fighting is useless.
I have to do something. And when I see her give in, when I see Diego wrenching her mouth open, something in me erupts.
I’d taken the torture, the pain, the humiliation of myself and Isabella when Diego licked her off his fingers in front of me. I’d resisted the urge to try to break free and wrench him in half, for my own sake and hers. But this—
This is beyond the limits of my self-control.
When I act, it’s something primal, an animal instinct from ages past to protect my woman and my child. The violence that bursts out of me is shocking even to myself. I wrench free of the guards, taking advantage of the fact that they think I’m too weakened to be much trouble—and a minute ago, I was. A minute ago, I wouldn’t have thought I could shake them free with effort, but now it’s as if I don’t feel any of my wounds. The pain fades to a red, vibrating hum as I grab Javier’s wrist with a force that leaves the other man’s face paling with pain, wrenching it around as I hear the bones snap and see the pistol fall from his hand.
I scoop it up in an instant, hoping like hell it’s fully loaded as I pivot, putting a bullet through the foreheads of each of the guards lunging for me with perfect precision. Thethudof their bodies hitting the floor is an immensely satisfying sound as I wheel towards Isabella, my gun trained squarely on the doctor holding the pills.
“Drop them, or I shoot.”
His hands shake.
“Give them to her,” Diego snarls at him. “Or I kill you slowly.”
“I have a gunnow,” I hiss. “And I will shoot you dead. You too,” I tell the guards, “unless you let go of her and the doctor puts those pills down.”
The guards are already reaching for their weapons, but I’m faster. I’ve always been a quick draw when it matters, and it’s never mattered more—and I’ve already drawn. All it is is a pull of the trigger, the crack of a gun as Isabella screams, frozen in place as the first bullet takes down the guard to her left, and the second takes down the one to her right, grazing Diego’s arm as it does.
He screams in pain, falling back, and that’s all it takes for the doctor to bail. The pills spill out onto the carpet as he scrambles away, and I go for Isabella, the gun still in my hand as I grab her with the other.
“Run!” I shout at her, and she doesn’t hesitate.
There are more guards coming, but I have bullets left, thank god. They’re not expecting me to be armed, and I take two more down as we flee for the door, grabbing a fresh gun. “Just keep running!” I shout at Isabella, shoving her forward. “I’ll cover you!”
It’s a fucking firefight. I haven’t been in one like this in a long time, and I’d die happy if I never was again, but the instinct sweeping me keeps me going, keeps me moving. When one gun is out, I grab another off of a corpse, until Isabella and I are at the gate, and then out of it.
“I have the bike hidden!” I shout at her. “Keep running! More are going to come!”
Javier is the only one I know I didn’t kill. He’d disappeared somewhere between me getting Isabella free and making a break for the front door, and I don’t know where he went.
What I do know is that he’s guaranteed to have more men.
The only thing that matters right now is getting Isabella and me to my bike and getting us the fuck out of here. Diego and Javier might have been going to spare my life before this, but they sure as hell won’t now—and Isabella will suffer for it, too. The baby won’t stand a chance. She can’t stop them on her own—I’m not sure either of us will be able to, if they catch us again.
The baby.I still haven’t processed that completely. I haven’t been able to really think about the fact that if we make it out of this alive, I’m going to be a father. In some small corner of my mind, I know I should be pissed at Isabella for that, too, but I can’t focus on that now. All I can think about is that I need to keep them safe.
Both of them.