“What’re you doing out here?” he asked, when he was close enough.
“Just looking at the fence.” She glanced at it again. “They did a nice job.”
“Yeah. The view’s screwed, but the baby will be safe.”
Shaking her head at that, she faced him and scooped windblown hair from her face. “What did you want, Ethan?”
“I’ve given Teresa the bedroom beside Emma’s so she’ll be close.”
“That’s good.”
“And I asked Julie to pack your things.”
She sucked in a gulp of ocean-scented air and swallowed the knot of pain lodged at the base of her throat. “Well, that’s...abrupt.” But not surprising. Looking into his green eyes now, she didn’t see the slightest hint of the man she’d spent the last nearly three weeks with. Ethan had tucked that man away and maybe he’d never escape again. He was back to being the all-powerful, distant CEO. The man who never let emotion touch him. And it was clear to Sadie that he’d already said goodbye to her and what they’d shared.
“It’s best this way.”
“Your way, you mean,” she said softly. “The easy way.”
He tucked his hands into his slacks pockets and his expression went blank, giving away nothing of what he was feeling, thinking. “The deal was you’d stay until we found a nanny. Well, Teresa’s here now, so—”
“Time to get things back to normal, is that it?” Well, she’d planned on leaving today, anyway.
“It is.” His jaw was tight, the only signal to her that he wasn’t completely at ease with this. Funny how it was such a small thing that could ease what she was feeling.
“You’re right, Ethan. It’s time for me to go.”
He nodded, clearly relieved, and she laughed shortly.
“What’s so funny?”
“This whole situation. I’ve loved you for a long time, Ethan.”
He winced at the words and she couldn’t help the sharp jab of pain in her heart. But she ignored it to say what she had to say. “I know you and I know you’re going to try to hide from Emma like you’ve been hiding from me.”
Scowling, he insisted, “I haven’t been hiding.”
She held up one hand for silence, because she wanted to finish this before she did something ridiculous and cried. “Yes, you have, but that’s not what I’m worried about.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.” The wind tossed his hair across his forehead and somehow that simple thing made him seem more approachable. More vulnerable.
“I probably will, anyway, but that’s my problem, not yours.” God, just looking at him made her want to cry for what they could have had together. “What I want you to do is promise me that you won’t ignore Emma.”
“Why would I—”
“Because it’ll be easier,” she said, and she knew he was remembering when they’d talked about taking the easy way before. So was she. “Easier to turn her over to Teresa and tell yourself it’s better that way. But it’s not, Ethan. Don’t cheat Emma, and more importantly, don’t cheat yourself.”
“Sadie...”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to hear whatever he might say, because she was certain it wouldn’t be what she most wanted to hear. That he loved her. That he needed her. That he didn’t care about past failures and he wanted only her.
“Good luck, Ethan,” she said, and started walking. Sadie really hoped that Julie had finished packing her clothes because she needed to get out of there fast—before her heart convinced her to stay and fight for what she wanted.
* * *
For the next week, Sadie slept in late, painted the living room in her condo, bought new plants to kill and visited her nephews and new baby niece. She drank with Gina, cried on Gina’s shoulder, then came home to her empty place and told herself that it would get better.
Soon, she hoped.
Because sleeping was almost impossible. She worked in her garden, moved furniture around and played with her nephews, all in an effort to exhaust herself, and still she didn’t sleep. How could she when her bed was as empty as her heart?