Rory pushed away from the door and sat on the bed, grasping my hand in hers. “Have you thought about this, Leda? I mean truly thought about this? If you go back to Lucas, you will be in the middle of a Mafia war.”
I knew that. I knew what the ramifications would be of going back to Lucas, but what else could I do? It would be so easy to have my brother lock me in his penthouse away from the world, to help me decide what to do with the rest of my life. It would be far too easy to do so.
But that wasn’t me.
I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life being a porcelain doll, kept safe on a shelf. I wanted to set my own destiny, to see Lucas standing before me so I could look at him and know that he was okay. And I knew that if my brother could see past his momentary anger, he would understand.
I was doing what was right for me, not for Nico.
“The war…” I looked out of the window. “The war has always been around me, Rory. From the moment I took my first breath. I’m a D’Agostino. I was always going to be in a war, whether I wanted to or not.”
It was the truth. Nico and I both had no choice but to be part of whatever insanity our father had gotten involved in, all because we were born with our last name. If Nico had done what my father wanted, it would be him that would be worrying about a war.
And me? I would be a wife to some Don that would further strengthen the Mafia. This was my life, my existence, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t run away from it.
“I’m a D’Agostino,” I repeated, looking at my sister-in-law. “That’s all I know.”
“Leda,” Rory said, squeezing my hand. “You are so much more than the last name you were born into. Think about this carefully. Nico is right. He can’t lose you again. You didn’t see.” Rory paused, swallowing hard. “You didn’t see how terrified he was when he couldn’t find you.”
My heart went out to my brother. I knew exactly what he had gone through. It was the same war inside me, not knowing what Lucas was going through right now or if the men that had shot at us had him. He might not be dead, but he could be being tortured, brought near death, and I was helpless to do anything for him.
I needed Lucas, just like Nico needed Rory, and I was going to stop at nothing to make sure I found him.
So, I looked at Rory. “You know how I feel. You feel the same way about my brother. You know I can’t just walk away.”
Rory let out a slow breath. “I know, Leda. I know. But I’m worried about you. That baby inside you—it changes everything. You can’t just go running off to war and still think that you can keep that innocent child safe.”
I rubbed a hand over my stomach once more, knowing that there was life growing inside me. Rory was right on that account. There were two of us now. I wasn’t the only one that I had to worry about.
But I couldn’t just stick my head in the sand and forget that my heart, the father of my baby, was in some serious trouble. Even without this baby, my life wasn’t my own. My life was tied to Lucas’s, just like my heart was.
“I’m scared for you, Leda.” Rory whispered.
“I’m not.” Without thinking, the words my father drilled into my head since I was a little girl fell from my lips. “I am a D’Agostino. And D’Agostinos are never afraid.”
Rory’s eyes widened.
“What?” I asked, surprised by her reaction.
“You may have your brother’s heart.” She shook her head, a concerned look crossing her face. “But when you speak, all I hear is your father’s voice.”
I hated the fact that she compared me to that monster. But maybe that was what I needed.
Maybe I needed to start acting like the man who ruled my life in terror. As much as I hated to admit it, my father might have done something right, and it was high time that I found out how to do that myself.