Chapter Twelve
I’ve tried to keep my distance, but it’s hard when I’m here to protect him. He, on the other hand, has no problem ignoring me. Or at least I think he doesn’t. He’s been spending a lot of time in his room, or the exercise room. Never with me of course, which is fine. It’s for the best.
Me pushing him away has been the hardest thing, but it’s the right thing to do.
“Danica, let’s discuss the charity event this weekend.” He steps out onto the patio.
“What’s it for?” I pull out a magazine and flip through it.
“The annual event is a charity fundraiser. Friends of the family host it every year to raise money for research and leukemia patients. It’s personal and I never miss one.” He sits.
“Okay, so I’m your date, what should I wear?” I ask.
He’s acting all businesslike. “It’s formal,” he says and sips his water then looks around the pool area. “The event is an auction. We have volunteers come and people auction themselves off, some offer dinner, some a night out. Others offer weekends away or a trip on their yacht.” This sounds interesting. I push myself up and pull my legs into my chest.
“What is it you offer, for the winner I mean?” he chuckles at my sly comment. “The winner receives a full course meal and a chance to rehearse a scene from one of the manuscripts I currently have to review." I bet he has a ton of them.
“Well isn’t that a unique prize? Do you usually raise a lot of money?” Curiosity gets the best of me. “I do all right. I believe my best was a bid of twenty-five thousand.” Holy shit, who’d pay so much for something like that?
“Fuck,” a crazy person with money would. Thoughts of the Ducati come to mind.
“Maybe this year you shouldn’t do it. I mean there is some crazy bitch out there.” Before I can finish my sentence Hunter stands and points his finger down at me, “I’m doing this. The only crazy bitch around here is you. You and your short tops, smart ass remarks and oiled skin. I’ve got fucking withdrawals from not being able to touch you. Do you know that? I want you all the fucking time and it’s killing me.” He steps towards me and I leap from the lounge.
“Hunter we can’t. I’m sorry, we can only pretend to be together, you know we can’t actually be together. Not now.” The frustration rolls off him in waves, “Danica, I’m done with you and your fucked up games. I know I’ve said it before. But I’m going to the charity event and the premiere next week and then you’re fired and I never want to see you again. Go mind-fuck someone else. I can’t do this anymore.” He says and turns away.
“Hunter...Hunter wait. Don’t you understand I have to protect you? If my head’s not on right, you’ll end up hurt.” He stops a few feet from the door and turns to me. “Who are you protecting, me or you?” My mouth drops open. Seriously?
“The only thing I need protection from is you, Danica. Can’t you see? You’re my addiction, my drug of choice. And you’re hurting me. You win! Shit, you won the minute you put me in my place and brought me to my knees.” His voice lowers and he walks out the front door. What happened? Did he break up with me? Wait we aren't together, I made sure of that didn't I? I sit and try and process it all.
Am I using the job as an excuse? Is he right? Am I the one afraid of what we may become? Could we be together? Am I ready for that? With so much running through my mind I find myself back in my room and I stare at the ceiling. Guilt, anger and judgement rush through my head. I’m not good enough for him, my job would put him in jeopardy, he’d get tired of me and move on. It’s safer for me to let him go now. Why wait?
Chapter Thirteen
My phone rings and I slide the screen open “Mark, what’s up?” I glance at the clock, it’s three in the morning. “Sorry to wake you, but your man left the house. I thought you’d want to know.” Shit, I didn’t hear a thing. Why is he out in the middle of the night? “Thanks Mark, I’ll track him, go get dinner or breakfast or whatever.” I push the light blanket off and throw on my jeans and combat boots. My tank top will have to do.
I flip open the laptop and pull up the tracker. The little red dot is moving slow. He must be walking. He’s only a block away. I grab my gun and slide it in the back of my jeans and take off out of the townhouse and over the dunes.
With the app on my phone I see he has stopped five hundred feet ahead. I look up and the water comes into view. Why is he out here? My steps slow as I approach, he sits in the sand and looks out over the ocean, chugging back a bottle of Jack.
“You ever feel alone, like no matter what you do, you’re not doing it right?” I sit down next him. I pull my feet from my boots and let the sand fall out. I’ve hurt him. I can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at me. Never in my wildest dreams would I hurt him on purpose. Why can’t we go back to the beginning, when things were simpler?
“All these years I’ve had to fight for what I wanted.” I say with my hands in the sand letting it sift through my fingers. The night sky filled with sparkling stars and a crescent moon sits above. “Hunter, can’t we go back to the way things were. Can’t we be friends, why does it have to be so difficult?” He picks up the bottle and chugs back what’s left then throws it behind us.
“Friends...yeah sure thing,” he says but I don’t believe him. “Have I told you all the glamour and glory of being a movie star comes with a lonely life? Besides Jax, Tommy and Warren, I have nothing. When you came, my life started making sense. I felt complete. Shit, I laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. Now you want to take it all away. You confuse the shit out of me.”
I understand what he’s saying, and it hurts me to hear the words out loud. I’ve led him on, but it’s me. It’s what I do. It’s how I protect myself, like he said. If I mess with someone else then they can’t hurt me first. But why do I feel so guilty doing it to him? Why am I letting him get to me? Why does he matter so much?
“I like to fuck with people, it’s my thang.” I bump my shoulder against his and he shakes his head. “See even that, the simplest comments send my dick into overdrive. You aren’t playing fair.” I know the feeling, thoughts of our innocent touches, glances, kisses. The shower and our intimate moment by the pool all filter in my head. He’s right, it’s not fair. Maybe I should remove myself from this assignment. I’m too close, but yet I don’t trust anyone else to protect him.
“Hunter, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.” He stands and with disappointment on his face looks away. “I told you Danica, I’m done. Whatever it was, is gone now.” My throat tightens and my eyes fill with tears as I watch him walk away for the second time in twenty-four hours. It feels like he’s taking my heart with him. My breath catches and I let him go. I have to, to protect him.
HUNTER
I can’t live in a game. My heart feels like it’s broken into a million pieces. If I can get her to face her feelings maybe, maybe then we could have a chance. But until then I’ll keep my distance. I’ll go back to my old ways before I gave a shit. Soon she’ll get another assignment and be gone for good. Maybe it is for the best.
The morning comes and goes, by the afternoon I am sober enough to go out and get trashed again. I call Jax and tell him to meet me at the local pub in an hour. When I approach the door to leave, Danica’s voice stops me. “Where are you going?” Without looking back I turn the knob, “I’m going out, take the night off.” I straddle my bike and ride off down the highway for some much needed space.
An hour I've been riding trying to forget and let the cool air push her from my thoughts. It doesn't help so I turn to the next best thing. Alcohol.