She flinched slightly. He hadn’t meant to insult her. It was a legitimate question for someone who didn’t know she and Finn had a history, but still it managed to make her feel less than worthy of Finn’s affection or Neil’s trust.
“Gee, thanks.” Moving to the corner of the room, she packed up her things.
“That’s not what I meant. I’m worried about you.” He stood behind her now, his heat warming the bare skin of her back. “Sex is . . . It makes you vulnerable, Gretchen, and you can’t afford to be vulnerable. I won’t let them—or you—risk you like that.”
She closed her eyes against the emotion in his voice. “We’re not like that,it’snot like that,” she lied again.
Everything he said was right, but she couldn’t do anything to change it. Her feelings for Finn went far beyond this case. She zipped her bag and turned toward Neil, forcing an easy smile.
He nodded proudly. “You’re damn good. But remember, I know you, Gretchen, too well.”
She shook her head against the truth. For their last undercover assignment, they’d lived next door to a drug dealer as newlyweds. It hadn’t taken long for the lines between their real lives and the mission to become blurred. Heat crept up her neck at the memories. Only Finn knew her better than Neil, and she had to admit that was just barely. “It’s a part of the job.”
A muscle in Neil’s jaw ticked, before he spun and made his way to the door. “Yeah, that’s you, always willing to do whatever it takes for the job.”
She considered stopping him and telling him she could never share her body with someone for the job, whether it be her partner or the mark, but she couldn’t afford to risk Finn to spare Neil’s feelings. Besides, it was better to let him believe she could never care for him, because truth be told, she’d never love anyone the way she did Finn James.
~ ~ ~
The little hairs on the back of Gretchen’s neck tingled with awareness as she stepped out of the confines of the makeshift hideaway that housed her team and into the open. She strode across the street to where her beat up Jeep awaited, scanning the vacant lot next door for prying eyes.
“This yours?”
Despite the familiar thrill her body felt as it recognized the deep voice, Gretchen reached for her gun as she spun around.
“Whoa, baby.” Finn held up his hands in surrender, but the smirk on his face said he was more than ready to tussle with her.
She pulled her hand away from her gun and gave the lot another quick scan, this time to make sure no agents were watching. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.” He shrugged, as if he stood outside of federal agency headquarters every day. “I was wondering if you’d take a little drive with me, maybe cancel any plans you have for the next day or two.”
She clamped her lips together, frightened at how quickly she wanted to agree. When she’d walked away from him two days ago, she’d been sure they were finished.
“Why?” she finally asked.
His easy smile melted away and he closed his eyes briefly before shaking away his disappointment. “Never mind.” He backed up. “I thought—”
“Don’t do that.” She stepped forward and placed her hand on his arm. Beneath her palm, his muscles tensed. “It was a question, not a refusal.”
He looked down at her hand. She squeezed his arm affectionately, rubbing her thumb lightly over the fabric of his shirt. She let her gaze wash over him then, down to the comfortable tennis shoes on his feet, and back up past his worn jeans and soft thermal to the black ball cap covering his blond hair.
When she’d first seen him, she hadn’t noticed how different he looked from the man she’d been sleeping with.Thiswas the way she always thought of Finn. The Finn her young heart had fallen in love with. She wanted to snake her hand around his neck, pull him close and take his lips with her own, but she made herself step back.
They were in front of a building filled with people already unhappy about her sleeping with him. If any of them discovered the truth about her feelings, and how far she’d go to protect him, they’d yank her off the case before she could even attempt to lie her way out of it.
“We need to get out of here.” She looked back to the building to make sure they still hadn’t been spotted. “Now.”
He quirked a brow. “In a hurry?”
“You know how you said you prefer Gretchen?” She reminded him of their conversation weeks before.
He nodded.
“Well, I prefer Finn James.” She smiled and lifted on her toes to kiss him briefly before taking a step back.
His smile reappeared. “Does that mean you’re coming with me?”
“Where are we going?”