“Yay!” Sophie yelled, sliding off the bed and running up to hug me.
“Stay away from that tartar sauce!” Dr. Elyaszadeh yelled jokingly, giving Sophie a hug as well.
We left the hospital together, my daughter’s hand in mine, the lamplight somehow even brighter than I remembered it, and slowly made our way home, laughing all the while.
12
Take Two
Lucas
When I awoke the next morning, suddenly everything came back to me: my plans with Natalie, her absence, my frustration. I had driven home furious, not even bothering to turn on the radio, and had barely slept that night as I turned over hypothetical scenarios in my head. But when I turned to face my nightstand, I discovered I had one missed call and four missed text messages from Natalie. My curiosity usurped my anger; almost impulsively, I grabbed my phone.
Hey, I’m so sorry about last night—had an emergency and my phone died.
Luckily everything is resolved now.
Meet today for coffee? Same place?
Today’s my day off, so any time works.
I checked my calls, and promptly saw she had left a voicemail as well. “Hey, Lucas. I just wanted to call you and apologize for last night. There was a family emergency—” here she let out a deep sigh, “but thankfully everything worked out fine. Anyway, if you’re open to rescheduling, I’d very much like that. Today’s my day off, so I can work around your schedule. I’ll also text you all of this. Okay, bye.”
Though my first inclination had been to react from a place of anger—how could she not have a charger on her? Why hadn’t she found one? Something in the elaborateness of her self-justification struck me as utterly sincere. This was so unlike the Natalie I knew, who was so mysterious and aloof, that for a moment I pondered the severity of the emergency she’d mentioned, and whether she was truly alright.
I sent her what I thought to be a thoughtful reply:No worries, I understand. But are you alright? I’m here for you if you need anything, anything at all. But yes, rescheduling is perfectly fine– let’s meet at 5. Then shuffled to the bathroom, a smile on my face. She hadn’t lost interest in me. I had doubted it, yes, but now I knew for sure. And I was determined to match her energy this time, to subdue some of my eagerness in light of her casual composure. We didn’t know each other, after all; most of our interactions I’d pictured in my head had been imaginary. It was best to take it slow, to get to know her organically instead of accelerating things unnecessarily.
I showered, and as I was drying my hair I noticed Natalie’s reply:It’s a date! See you then.Despite myself, I smiled.A date?I thought to myself.I like the sound of that.
Despite it still only being the early afternoon, I was soon seized by an unshakable anxiety that drove me to pace throughout the house for almost a half-hour. What if she didn’t like me the way she had the first time? What if she was coming in with reservations? What if, like yesterday, she didn’t materialize? What then?
But that was when I remembered things would play out as they would, and my anxieties did not serve me. I forced myself to sit down and do some work on my laptop, leaving my phone in the other room to keep from staring at it, obsessing over what Natalie might say next—though this was in itself a pseudo-sacrifice, my laptop received text notifications just the same. I made myself work, to some avail, until a half-hour before our designated time, at which point I threw on a blazer, contemplated my reflection in the mirror (for a few minutes, I’m embarrassed to admit), and stepped out the door.
I pulled into the driveway of the café, slightly apprehensive. But then I saw her across the lot, approaching the building slowly, her messy blonde hair flowing in the wind, her fingers wrapped securely around a blood-red clutch.
Natalie, I thought to myself.This is it.And I smiled.
“Over here!” I yelled with a wave, as I emerged from the driver’s seat. She turned toward me suddenly, and on registering my presence, she smiled and waved in return, squinting against the Minnesota sun. The sunlight bathed her in gold; for a moment she appeared almost goddess-like.
“Hey, Lucas!” she said, as she stepped up to me and gave me a hug. “I just wanted to say sorry again—”
“No need,” I interjected, returning her hug. “I understand completely.” Then, turning toward the café, said, “Shall we?”
We entered the café together, where the same barista as yesterday greeted us. I noticed he winked at me as Natalie turned to grab us a table, and I nodded politely in response.
“Over here!” Natalie called. “This one has the best view of the lake—at least, I’ve always thought it did.”
I looked out over the lake, which reflected the golden sunlight brilliantly, drenching our faces in warmth. And yet, despite the lake’s beauty, it paled in comparison to hers—she had only gotten more beautiful in the past years, her cheeks fuller and her eyes more vivid than I recalled. Despite myself, I almost shielded my eyes in response.
“So,” I began, hoping to launch the conversation. “May I ask what last night’s emergency entailed?”
Almost immediately I noticed Natalie tense up, her grip tightening around her clutch. “I—I…” she began, but before she could continue, I brought my hand to her shoulder.
“Hey, we don’t have to discuss it, if you don’t want to. I want you to know I’m here… you know, if you ever need someone to talk to.”
She looked up at me, appearing almost on the verge of tears, and smiled. “I appreciate it, really.” But then I said nothing, and she did not continue, until finally it registered that we would not continue that line of questioning.
The remainder of the date unfolded somewhat smoothly, although Natalie appeared to retain an air of anxiety, she let her guard down some, and she answered my questions seamlessly, as though she were an open book, eager to be read. She asked me questions in return, and I answered them, though I’ll admit I kept some of the specifics vague. I didn’t want to mix work and pleasure.