Shaking it off, I headed back into my office and glued myself to my computer for the next several hours.
I had to create the perfect business plan that detailed – down to the very last penny – exactly how much money I would need to get my own restaurant up and running. Deep in my soul, I knew I could make a bistro-type establishment successful. I also knew that I could get a good business loan from the bank if I could show the lender every competitor, every strength, and every weakness of my restaurant.
Meanwhile, I still needed to do the other jobs I'd been hired for since the bill collectors wouldn't wait around until I had a successful business. Jordan's face briefly flashed into my mind as he still had a project we needed to finish. I was dreading that task since I knew that it would upset Michael.
The next morning,I informed Michael I was heading to see my father and Sage.
He smiled and nodded. Michael liked that I let him know where I was going. He worried over me like a mother hen, and I wasn't sure if it was because he worried about my safety, he was jealous, or he was possessive.
"Robin, would you like to stay home or go with me?" I asked as I got myself ready to leave.
"I want to stay with Daddy," he replied. "The zoo has a new polar bear exhibit, and Daddy said he would take me."
"That sounds fun," I told him, ruffling his hair.
I kissed Robin and left. During the drive, I thought about Robin saying "daddy" a lot. Of course, he was excited about having a daddy. Still, I also wondered whether he was trying to make sure that the situation was real or if he was trying to make sure that Michael wasn't going away.
I briefly thought about counseling. However, Robin wasn't acting as though he needed it. He wasn't exhibiting any negative behaviors, so I concluded that Robin would loosen up once he realized that his father was in his life to stay – even if the relationship between Michael and me didn't work out.
As I pulled up, I could hear Dad's loud, booming voice outside the house. I was immediately grateful that Robin had decided to spend the day with his father. He didn't need to be around my father when he was drunk and belligerent.
Letting myself in, I quickly assessed the situation. Dad was sitting on the couch, a drink already in his hand. He was yelling at Sage that she couldn't do anything right. The house was messy, and she hadn't cooked him breakfast.
Although Sage had heard these words and others like them a million times in her life, they still hurt. The look on her face told me everything that I needed to know.
"Dad, isn't it a little early for you to be drinking?" I asked.
"Well, look who it is. It is Miss Stuck Up, living in a fancy apartment, thinking she is too good for her family," Dad snarled, his words slurred.
Then, he looked around. "Where the hell is my grandson? Is he too busy to come over here, too, now that he has a rich daddy to take care of him and buy him anything he wants?" he hissed, his eyes red and bloodshot.
"You know I don't want him near you when you drink. I don't want my son to be around someone who is mean and acts like this," I replied calmly. Over the years, I learned that meeting my dad's anger with my own only worsened the situation.
"He just thinks that he's too good to be around me, too," Dad growled as he took another deep drink.
"No, he is excited to have time with Michael. But even if Michael weren't in the picture, I would have dropped him off at Tammie's house before I let him come in here," I told him. "You are very mean when you get this way, and I don't want my son to be exposed to your drunken behavior."
"Who are you to judge me? You are the slut who had sex with some man you didn't even know and got yourself knocked up," he retorted.
I sighed. Those barbs stopped hurting long ago, but I still didn't appreciate it when Dad called me names. "I'm not saying that people don't make mistakes. However, you have been a drunk since Mama died," I responded.
"Don't you talk about your Mama," he roared. "She was a good woman and would never have had a bastard son, and then turned her back on her family so she could be a kept woman."
I knew he was going off on me to help quell the pain of losing Mom. He had been doing it since I was a kid. Still, the knowledge didn't make it easier for me to bite my tongue.
After a few seconds, he finished off his drink.
"Make yourself useful. Get off your fat ass and get me another drink," he demanded.
I scoffed. "Nope. You want another drink, then you'll have to go get it yourself," I retorted.
Even my understanding and patience had limits, and my father had just about pushed me to that point.
I headed into the kitchen where Sage was sitting, her head in her hands.
"I don't know how much more of this I can handle," she said miserably.
I nodded. While I had moved out and got my own place, Sage had been stuck with Dad. She had practically lived with me until she turned eighteen, but her job and school were closer to the house.