"See, not so bad, is it?"
He gave me a look that told me not to push it, and I sighed; this would be a lot of hard work. But one thing that being a mother taught me was to be patient (also, being the firstborn to a father like mine had helped).
"I can't wait to officially meet him." An olive branch. I could take this.
I smiled. "Great. I will tell Robin about you, and you can officially meet him this Saturday. How's that?"
Something softened in his gaze as he answered. "I would like that."
The last thing I wanted was Michael in my life, but I had always done what was best for my son. Robin needed both his parents in his life, and I was going to find a way to co-parent with Michael. I would probably be arrested for murder at the end of it all, but I was going to give it a try.
We finished dinner in silence, and I tried to imagine what was going on in his stubborn head. My attention was drawn to his lips when he dabbed them with his napkin, and he caught me looking when he looked up. I looked away and cleared my throat.
"I –I better go. I need to get Robin from Tammie's."
Michael stood up, and I followed suit, trying to look anywhere but his tall frame. I held my bag as he walked me to the door. He smelled different today but still had a nice scent. It was hard not to notice these things, even when I was trying to be indifferent regarding Michael's sex appeal.
"Text me," he said, making it sound like a demand.
I nodded and walked out before I did something stupid like kissing him goodbye.
18
Michael
Today was the day, and I couldn't help but feel slightly nervous. I had tried to be as casual as possible in jeans and a t-shirt, which was silly because it wasn't like a six-year-old would judge me for my dress. There was probably nothing I could do or prepare to meet my son for the first time, but I still tried. I bought a couple of puzzles since Jade said he liked those and a soccer ball.
I had given my driver the day off and regretted it when I started driving. It would have been good to have the extra time to calm myself on the way to Jade's. Now I had to focus on the road while a million scenarios went through my head. What if Robin didn't like me? Sure, we'd met before and had a good conversation, but that had been before he knew that I was his father. What if he asked me where I had been all these years? I didn't know how to answer that. Damn it. Maybe I should have discussed all of this with Jade beforehand.
She told me that Robin was ready to meet me and everything was all set, but I should have ensured we went over everything. A tiny voice in my head told me to stop treating this like a business meeting and that I couldn't prepare for everything. It was simply hard letting go and going with the flow; that had never been something I believed in.
I frowned as I finally pulled over at Jade's place, looking around and not seeing anything redeemable about this place. The buildings looked so old and like they would fall apart any second now, and it was even worse inside than it was out. The walls had cracks in them, and the paint was peeling off. I had no idea why anyone would choose to live in such a place.
I knocked on Jade's door and tightened my grip on my bag of gifts. This was it; no going back now. My father had been an amazing dad; if I could be just a fraction of that, I would be off to a good start.
Robin opened the door and grinned when he saw me, making me smile.
"Mommy!" He shouted, "Michael is here!"
Jade came rushing to the door and gave Robin a stern look. "What did I say about opening the door?"
"But you said Michael was coming," he replied with a pout.
"But you didn't know it was Michael when you opened the door, did you?"
"I'm sorry, Mommy."
She shook her head but smiled before asking me to come in. I closed the door, and Robin grabbed my hand and led me to the living room.
"I brought this,"I said to Jade as I sat down, holding up the paper bag.
She nodded and mouthed the word 'later,' and I placed the bag on the floor. The place was very neat despite the outdated furniture, and I noticed the old piano in the corner of the room. Before I could ask if she played, Jade excused herself.
"I have something in the oven. Can I leave you for a little bit?"
"Sure," I replied, then looked at Robin as Jade walked away.
He was looking at me like he was trying to figure out a puzzle, and I wondered what was going through his young mind.