All my anger and the humiliation I had felt came back to me all at once, making the way I said her name sound like venom. She didn't turn around, and I called her name again. I knew she had heard me by the hard set in her shoulders, her tension visible to me.
I stopped just a few steps away and waited for her to turn around and face me. And when she finally did, those wide green eyes were a devastating blow. She was just as gorgeous as I remembered.
Damn her.
7
Jade
Today was one of those days when everything was not going my way. I had spent the entire afternoon shopping with Robin for some new shoes and school supplies, and it seemed we had both reached our breaking point. He had asked for everything he saw, and I was now tired and broke. If only there were a way to explain to a stubborn six-year-old that mommy didn't have money to buy everything he wanted. Especially things he didn't need. I thought that after six years of doing this, I would be a pro by now, but there was no manual for motherhood, and on days like these, one just had to be extra patient.
"I want ice cream, Mommy," came another request.
There were a few fancy restaurants as we walked by, and just ahead of us was a gelato place. I must admit that the large banner with different gelato cones looked appetizing, but I had just bought Robin some yogurt an hour before.
"We are going home, Robin, and you left ice cream in the freezer, remember?"
There was a small tub of vanilla ice cream that Tammie had brought him the last time she had been babysitting, and the only reason he hadn't eaten it was because he had just entered into a 'chocolate ice cream only' phase. One of the fascinating things about my son was that I couldn't stomach any dairy products when I was pregnant with him, but Robin loved everything dairy.
"I want that one," he said, pointing at the banner and pulling my hand.
I sighed and stopped walking, looking at the pouting face that was probably engineered to make every mother cave. If I denied him what he wanted, I would get the foot stomp. Tammie and my younger sister, Sage, thought it was the most adorable thing, but right now, I was trying to avoid a full-on tantrum at all costs. There wasn't anything adorable about tantrums if you were the parent.
I bent to his level and tapped his nose. I touched his chin when I didn't get the usual smile from the act.
"Tell you what, why don't we go home and make our own ice cream, huh? Any flavor that you like."
He looked at me as if trying to determine whether I was telling him the truth or not. Those blue eyes always gave me a little pang in the chest, reminding me of Robin's father. My son hadn't taken much after me, and the more he grew, the more I realized that he was probably favoring Michael more. I wished I had known what Michael was like as a kid. It wouldn't surprise me that he was like this little ice cream lover.
"Chocolate?" He asked, making me smile.
He was trying to negotiate and ensure I understood his terms before agreeing to mine. It always amazed me how much he was growing into his own. It seemed like he had been a baby just a few months ago! But every day, he grew smarter and apparently taller, evidenced by the need for new shoes when I had just recently bought him some—another thing he had inherited from his father.
"Of course," I agreed, then tapped his nose again.
This time I got a large grin, and I almost sighed in relief, happy that we had reached an amicable agreement.
"Can I have smarties too?"
I nodded, knowing that I would regret the hyperactivity that would follow. But I needed us to get home without further drama, and it seemed chocolate would be the price of progress.
"But only if you eat your vegetables," I added.
He pouted but agreed, his love for chocolate obviously winning over his distaste for "yucky veggies," as he called them. Eating vegetables was always an event in our house, and I had to plead, negotiate, and threaten to get him to eat them. The threat of not getting dessert had been working for some time now, and I could only hope it would continue to work for a little while longer.
I took Robin's hand in mine again and was ready to start walking when I heard my name.
I froze at the sound, sure that I was imagining things now. It seemed that thinking about Michael made me start hearing him, too, because there was no way that deep voice belonged to him. Even after all these years, I hadn't forgotten his voice. How could I when I still dreamed of the man? The child we shared had made sure that Michael would be a part of my life forever.
"Jade."
The second time sounded more real and more determined, and I knew my mind was not making that up. I had imagined this day – dreamed of it even – where Michael would return and take me into his arms, telling me how much he missed me. But any hope of a fairy tale reunion quickly disappeared when I thought of the little boy whose hand I was holding. The little boy that was Michael's too.
I wanted to run, but my entire body felt frozen. Besides, running was not going to solve anything. It had been almost seven years since I'd last seen Michael, and I had grown up a lot. Part of being a grown-up meant I had to pretend that I was not about to have a panic attack right now.
I turned around slowly and finally looked at him, my traitorous body betraying me instantly. My heart started beating faster, and my palms were sweating. I was like a nervous girl standing in front of her crush, and it didn't help that my crush had aged like the finest of wines. Time had been extra kind to Michael, and he was even more handsome than I remembered. His hair was short now, highlighting the perfect angles of his clean-shaven face. He was wearing a suit tailor-made for him, showing off a body that my hands itched to explore again.
I had missed him almost every day since I had last seen him, and it was hard missing someone you hardly knew. I didn't have the luxury of many memories with Michael to go through over the years, just the one night we had together. Missing him was mostly thinking of what could have been and mourning that we had been cheated out of that opportunity. But here he was now, looking like a Greek god. And he stood there like he owned the whole damn city.