My stomach drops to my fucking feet as I watch the different emotions move over her face.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. I…”
“You fucked him here.”
“Fisher.”
“Been laying in the fucking bed you fucked another man in.” I close my eyes as tears burn in the creases. “Fuck. God damn it. Why don’t you just reach into my chest and rip my fucking heart out?” I don’t know why it’s all hitting me now. I thought I’d made my peace with the fact she fucked him but thinking of the two of them here together burns me up.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry we keep hurting each other.” She goes to touch my arm and I jerk from her hand.
“Say whatever it is you need to say then get the fuck out.”
“Fisher, you knew I’ve been with him. Why are you so mad at me?”
“I don’t know but I’m finding it really hard to look at you right now.”
The last thing I expect to hear from her mouth flies out, “I think I could be pregnant.”
I drop to the couch then jump back up. I don’t know where they fucked in here or how many times. Now my space is tainted. “Is it mine or Death’s? Or is it that preppy fuck?”
“I never slept with Justin.”
“Did you fuck anyone else? How many guys, Freya? How many people did you fuck behind my back? While I was laying in a jail cell dreaming of the life I wanted to give you, you were out here fucking Death. Did you fuck him before you left town?”
Freya jerks as though I slapped her with my question. “No. You’re the last person I slept with. I don’t want to lie to you. I slept with Death the night you were released, but not since.”
“You fuck him without a rubber like you did me? What is this bullshit? He wouldn’t leave his wife, so you fuck me to pass his kid off to me. That it? I showed up and was a convenient option to solve your little problem.”
“What? No. I love you, Fisher.”
“This ain’t love. You don’t know how to love anyone but your fucking self. Blaming Mommy for all your problems. Look in the fucking mirror, Freya.”
“That’s cold.”
“Cold as your heart, babe. Had a good girl and I treated her like shit because I was hung up on my Freya. Now she’s dead. I picked a fight with her, so she’d end things. Since I was too much of a coward to tell her the truth. That I’ll never love another woman the way I love you. Then you show up here to tell me that you might be pregnant. Could be mine. Could be your fuck buddy’s. And you have the nerve to stand here, look me straight in the eye and lie to me. You don’t love me. You can’t. You don’t even know how to love.”
Freya drops to her knees on a sob. “I’m sorry.” She stares up at me, filled with remorse, but I don’t give a fuck.
Something inside of me has snapped, and I know I need to reign my temper in. But the thought of any other man’s baby growing inside her makes me want to kill someone.
“Save your tears for Death. If you can get him to pull his dick out of a whore long enough to listen.”
“Fisher, please. Don’t be angry with me.”
I crouch, getting eye level with her. I grip her chin as her tears fall. “I wanted to give you the world. All I wanted was your love. Your devotion. Your loyalty.”
“I fucked up.”
“Yeah, babe. You did.”
“I do love you.” She loops her arms around my neck.
“Stop.” I tug on her arms, but she won’t let go.
“I love you, Fisher. Tell me you love me.”