“Thank you.” I shrugged. “But I didn’t choose it—it came with the ship.”
“Itisreally good,” Lucian agreed and Natalie nodded as well, though I noticed she had barely touched her own Earth food.
For myself, I didn’t have much appetite either. Earlier, I had sworn to myself that I would never let Natalie go again. But back at the Court of the Female side of Tangella Alpha-Prime, I had told her I loved her…and I hadn’t gotten it back.
That made things fuckingawkward, and now I wasn’t sure how she felt about me. Was she still planning on going home to Earth? If so, she could probably just hitch a ride with her cousin, Rylee, and her two mates. They had been discussing their intention to go back and visit Earth quite soon so that Rylee could see her relations, which were Natalie’s relations too. So maybe I would have some indication of how Natalie felt when they decided to leave.
Our two ships were in synchronous orbit, connected via a short umbilical passageway. If Natalie decided to go with her cousin when our meal together was over, I would have my answer and know that she had no interest in staying with me.
But I fucking hoped that wasn’t the case. If she left, it would be like ripping my heart out. I wanted her to stay with me desperately but I didn’t know how to say that without begging.
“Well…I think it’s time we got back to our own ship, right, boys?” Rylee said, interrupting my thoughts.
“I’d agree with that, sweetheart,” Drace growled, giving her a hungry look.
“I as well,” Lucian murmured. He wasn’t as obvious about it, but he had the same look in his eyes when he glanced at Rylee. And Rylee was giving it back to both her mates, full force.
I knew by those looks what the three of them were planning to do—they were going to Bond all over again and strengthen their connection. It made me so damn jealous I could hardly stand it! IfonlyI could Bond Natalie to me, I wouldn’t have to wonder what she was thinking or how she felt about the two of us staying together. I wouldknow.I would have a piece of her soul and she would have a piece of mine.Thatwas what I wanted—what Rylee and Drace and Lucian had.
But I knew I would never have it.
Still, even without a Bond, I wanted to be with Natalie. Did she feel the same? I waited anxiously to see if she would leave the table and accompany her cousin and her cousin’s mates to the other ship.
But she remained sitting, staring pensively at her half-eaten slice of “peeza,” as if she didn’t like it.
Perosnally, I thought that the Earth food was pretty damn tasty, though I had never heard of it before Rylee had used my food replicator to make it. There was a sweet dessert too—a pastry made with spices and rolled up into layers before it was baked into a kind of bun—Natalie had eaten a few bites of hers but nothing more. I had eaten two myself—they were good, filled with a sweet, spicy paste I liked. They were called “sinning” rolls, though I couldn’t see anything especially wicked or sinful about them.
“Well, thanks again for dinner and have a good night,” Rylee said, as she and her mates made their way to the umbilical hatch. “Um, give me a call tomorrow, Cuz and let me know how things are going,” she added, hovering in the hatchway. “We’ll be hanging around here for a little while longer, establishing diplomatic relations for the Goddess Empress.”
“Sure. I’ll, um, let you know how it goes.” Natalie gave her cousin a half-hearted smile and a nod. She seemed troubled by something, but I didn’t know what exactly. Had she decided to leave me and she was worried that I would be upset? Was that what the cryptic exchange meant?
I wished I fucking knew, but of course, I couldn’t come right out and ask. So I just nodded good night to our guests and waited until they were safely through the umbilical and back in their own ship. Then I sealed the hatch and cut the connection between us, allowing our ships to fly free of each other.
I turned to Natalie, who was already clearing the broad, plasti-wood dining table and putting the plates along with the remains of the dinner into the recycling shoot.
“It was nice to share a meal with your kinswoman and her mates,” I said to her, hoping to draw her into conversation. “Drace and Lucian seem like solid males—they treat your cousin right.”
“Yes, they all seem really close,” Natalie remarked, nodding. “I never would have dreamed that Rylee could fall for two guys at once, but she seems really happy.”
“That’s how it is with Denarins,” I told her. “The maleshaveto share a mate.”
“Yes, that’s what Rylee said.” She nodded and picked up the dessert plate.
“Wait—don’t throw those away,” I exclaimed, when she headed for the recycling chute. “I really like those sinning rolls—I might want another later on.”
Natalie’s face broke into a smile.
“Uh, ‘sinning’rolls?” she asked, gesturing at the plate with its three remaining pastries sitting in a lake of sticky sweet stuff.
I frowned.
“Isn’t that what they’re called?”
“I suppose youcouldcall them that, since they’re so fattening it’s almost a sin to eat them,” she said, grinning. “But no—they’re calledcinnamonrolls—after the spice used in the filling. You know?”
“Oh. Cin-na-mon,” I said, copying her pronunciation carefully. “Okay, I guess I’ll have to remember that. And now that the recipe is in my food replicator, maybe I’ll make them sometime to remember you by,” I added, hoping to poke her into saying how she felt about the idea of leaving…or staying.
Natalie dropped her eyes and nibbled her lower lip.