With no chance of getting back to sleep right away, I leaned over to pick up my phone and check the time. Four a.m. My parents might already be up. Natasha hadn’t moved, and the last thing I wanted was to piss her off by waking her, so I slipped out of bed and into the hallway. It was as bright as it was during the day, but the stillness made it feel eerie as I open the door to the stairwell and sat on the bottom stair leading up to the next level.
Not knowing where or when my dreams took place was the worst part about waking up. Sometimes I could narrow it down based on what I saw, but more often than not, I got the answers at the same time as everyone else: when the disaster made the news.
I did a quick internet search to see if there has been any recent volcanic activity, but no headlines came up.
The sound of the people’s screams and cries will haunt me forever. I wish I could forget. What was the point of seeing these events if there was nothing I could do to stop or change them?
It was just cruel.
Maybe there was a spell or potion that would block them? Something to make sure I have a dreamless sleep. I might not see my hawk anymore, but it might be worth not having those nightmares either.
I selected my dad’s cell number and willed him to answer. On the third ring, it connected. “Saige? It’s early there. Are you okay?”
“No.” It was all I could get out through my tight throat.
“Did you have another dream?” He knew. Of course, he did. If I was home, he would have found me sitting out in my spot by now.
“Yeah.” I took in a long breath to soothe my nerves. “It was terrible. It’s going to be absolutely devastating.”
“Oh, honey. Do you want to tell me what happened or do you want me to distract you?”
I closed my eyes and rubbed them with the heel of my free hand. “It was somewhere tropical. Warm. Lush green jungle everywhere. I found a marketplace.” I pinched my nose to keep the tears back. “The people were so happy, Dad. So full of joy and love. Everyone knew each other. It was so beautiful to see. Then there was this loud, horrible sound, and I turned around. There was so much smoke and ash in the air. Then, it was like an avalanche. This cloud came rolling down into the valley. Everyone was running and screaming and crying. It’s going to wipe out everything. Nothing and no one will survive its path.”
Dad was silent for a long time. This was one of the worst dreams I’d had in a long time. People could survive hurricanes and earthquakes. There were often mass casualties, but at least some were saved.
Not this time. That entire village would be wiped away, as well as any others in the area.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice broke. “I wish I could take this from you. I wish I could carry the burden.”
I wouldn't wish that upon him. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, let alone someone I loved.
“How is everything else going? How was the assessment?” I was grateful for the subject change.
“Good. I’ve made some good friends, and I passed the exam. I can stay at the fourth-year level course.”
“Wow, I’m so proud of you. I can’t believe how well you’ve handled all of this. I wish now we had told you sooner. Maybe then you could have had more time to adjust and maybe even learn from Masie.”
“You did your best.” I honestly believed that.
“It’s a difficult situation. I’m grateful you don’t hate us either. I feel like we got off too easily,” he confessed.
“I could never hate you or Mom. I love you both, and I know all this time you were trying to protect me. I won’t hold that against you guys.”
“Even though we didn’t let you do things you really wanted to?”
“Yes.” I smiled. “I might have been angsty about it, but I know you guys didn’t tell me no just to be controlling or spiteful. There was, and maybe even still is, a threat against me. I’m not sure what you could have done differently.”
“I wish that wasn’t true. That there still might be a threat, but it’s good you’re aware of that. It was a risk bringing you to that school, but it was also necessary. I just wish we were closer.”
“Me too,” I admitted. Even though the distance forced me to stand on my own and learn to count on myself, I did miss them all so much.
“How are Aiden and Brielle?”
“They’re great. They miss you, though.”
I blinked rapidly, fighting to clear my vision. “I miss them so much.”
It felt like a huge chunk of my heart was missing being so far from them. Did they understand I didn’t want to leave them? That I hadn’t abandoned them?