I doubted that would ever happen. If we didn’t have answers after all these years of searching, I was certain they didn’t exist. I was just broken.
“Did you and Mom decide yet?” I asked after we sat in silence for a while.
He tensed next to me, and I knew their decision without him having to say it.
“Why is it always a no?” I grumbled and tugged my knees up to my chest.
“We want you to be safe.”
It was the same argument they made every single time I asked to do anything outside of hanging out at a friend's house, the mall, or the movies. I was seventeen and more restricted than most younger children. I was pretty sure Aiden had more freedom than I did.
“What is unsafe about going to a concert? It’s not like it’s at some tiny club with the threat of being trampled in a mosh pit. It’s at the arena downtown.”
“It's forty minutes away,” he said, as if I hadn’t calculated the exact distance before asking them in the first place.
“I wouldn’t be going alone. Jacie and Santana will be there, plus Ryan. So, it wouldn’t even be just girls.”
He pulled away from me and rubbed the back of his neck. I felt a tiny bit guilty for bringing this up now rather than waiting to talk to him and Mom together, but he was the one who climbed out here.
“It’s not that we don’t want you to have fun with your friends or––”
“You just don’t want me to get hurt.” I clenched my fists. It was the same thing every time. My parents were paranoid about my safety. They had been even before my nightmares got bad. They never let me go to sleepovers, instead insisting that my friends stay here. I missed out on any school field trips they couldn’t chaperone. Plus, they insisted on meeting anyone new, especially if I went to their house. That meant I had to work on most school projects at my house, too.
I knew other kids with protective parents, but it always felt like mine went overboard since most had backed off as we got older.
I wasn’t even allowed to have a job. Mom said it was so I could focus on my schoolwork, but since I didn’t get an allowance, it meant I was broke all the time. Babysitting on the weekends for my neighbors was my only income, but those opportunities were becoming less and less frequent. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was getting older and they assumed I didn’t want to babysit anymore or if my parents said something.
Either way, I was trapped.
I tried not to resent my parents. I knew they loved me and were doing the best they could, but being the experimental oldest child sucked. I knew by the time Brielle was my age, she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. Lucky girl.
The thought of having to call my friends and tell them I couldn’t go brought anger I couldn’t shake off. I was sick of always telling them no. This was supposed to be our last celebration before senior year started. A night to have fun and forget about the upcoming stress we were facing. One of our last chances to be young and free before the reality of adulthood set in.
Okay, maybe that was dramatic.We still had senior year, but then everything would be different. We’d split up. They would go off to their various universities, and I’d be here. At home. Going to the local college down the street.
I clenched my fists and tightened my jaw.
It wasn’t fair.
I just wanted a chance at being normal.
The roof began rattling.
“Saige?” Dad’s voice sounded distant.
I stared down at the darkness of our backyard as the tire swing swayed like a pendulum. The house swayed under me.
Hands gripped my shoulders, and I had the vague notion that Dad was close.
I was shaking. The house was quaking. The earth below was moving. I didn’t know where I started and the ground ended. I was one with the vibrations.
“Mommy!” A terrified shriek cut through my trance, and I shook my head.
“Saige?” Dad was inches from me, screaming my name.
“Yeah?” I met his eyes and utter horror reflected back at me.
“We need to get inside.” He stood, tugging my hand to make me follow. He climbed in through my window and helped me inside just as the bedroom door swung open. Mom ran in, carrying a sobbing Brielle in her arms while Aiden rubbed his eyes behind her.