“But I do see your point. You see yourself as a bit of a revolutionary, don’t you?”
“I do. We’re changing the landscape here, Ferro, changing the way people interact and learn. It’s an amazing thing we do here.”
“I’m just in it for the money,” he said.
“Really?” She studied his expression, tried to get a read on him. “I don’t believe that. You have to have a passion for this.”
“No, Julia, I don’t. I’m good with computers, I picked up an understanding of them easy, but like every other thing in my life, they were just a way out. I only care about the money. That’s why, in the end, I’m your biggest threat, and don’t forget it. Hamlin likes power, and one day, soon, I hope, he’ll have reached for too much too soon. You are a visionary. Passionate and idealistic, and mark my words, that will be your downfall. All I care about is getting ahead. I don’t care about right, or wrong. I only care about winning the game.”
There was such a bleak hardness to his statement. Such cold calculation. But she wasn’t sure if there was truth to it. She was almost positive he believed it to be true, though she wasn’t sure why he needed to.
Finally she spoke. “What happens at the end? What happens when you’re done and there’s nothing left to do?”
“I find a new game.” No emotion in his tone, no fire.
“I’ll take passion and the potential to lose then,” she said. “I think it’s more fun.”
“I haven’t had the luxury of having fun in my life.”
“You’re a billionaire, Ferro, several times over. Relax and enjoy it.”
He shook his head and the engine on the plane kicked into gear, the roaring in her ears as it started to move down the runway. “That’s something you learn early on when you live on the street, cara. Never get comfortable. Never take it for granted. You never sleep. Not really. You have to be ready to jump up and fight for your life at any given moment. Complacency will be the death of you, and I believe it’s true in business, as well.”
Julia’s throat tightened. “And now…now that you have your mansion with all your security…do you sleep now?”
He shook his head slowly, his eyes focused on a point past her. “No.”
“Then you might as well be back on the street.”
He laughed. “I fight every day to make sure I never go back.”
“Your life sounds exhausting.”
“This from the woman with boundless energy?”
She shrugged. “I’m happy, though. It’s easier to live when you’re happy.”
“Why are you happy?”
“I have my dream job. Friends. Family.” She nearly stumbled over that word. She hardly ever spoke to her parents. Could hardly speak to her mother at all. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”
“Why so much armor, then? If you’re so happy, why are you so well-protected?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He leaned forward, extending his hand and sliding his thumb and forefinger over the collar of her jacket. “You know full well what I’m talking about. I’m talking about this.”
“Are your suits armor, Ferro? Or are they just something you wear to create an image.”
“Armor,” he said. “So that no one can say I look like the street urchin that I am. So that, no matter the rumors, I look like a man who earned my success, rather than a man who slept his way to the top. Underneath, though, it doesn’t change a damn thing, that’s the rub.”
“It does. I would feel a lot worse about myself if I had to go up on stage for presentations with my limp hair, braces and baggy shirts.”
“But it doesn’t change you. Not really. If it did, even if you were in baggy T-shirts you would feel confident.”
“Such an expert for a man who is so freaking dysfunctional.”
“But I’m right. You know I am.”
“So? Everyone does it. You do it, you just said.”
He nodded. “I suppose they do. Image, as they say, is everything. Unlike you, though, I don’t pretend that I’m all right.”