“Because…”
“Stop it!” she shouted. “Stop reiterating how awful it would be to have a child with me, please. I can’t take the repeated statements of your horror.”
“Don’t make this about your insecurities, Julia, it’s bigger than that.”
“I’m sorry, it’s hard not to make it about my insecurities since…you know it’s so heavily about me.”
“And about a child,” he said, his words clipped. “Do you really think I should raise a child? Do you think I’m daddy material? What life lessons do I have to pass on? If you’re struggling, don’t give up, sell yourself to the highest bidder?”
“But you wouldn’t let our child struggle,” she said, her voice muted.
“But I would still be who I am.” He looked out the window, past her. “It is, in some ways, a blessing I have no family. No one who loves me. Because they would be horrified by the man I had to become to get to the place I’m standing in now. I know I am. I’ll see you in a couple of hours, at Barrows. Be ready to make the presentation of a lifetime.”
She nodded slowly and watched him walk out of her office. Something in her chest burned. Fought for recognition, fought to get through all the walls she’d built up, to tear off the blinders she’d put on. It burned until it hurt. Until the words swam through her head, clear and undeniable.
That’s where you’re wrong, Ferro. Someone does love you.
She put her hand on her stomach and hoped the wave of nausea would pass. Yeah, she’d done something really stupid. She’d fallen for her first. She’d fallen for Ferro. Their relationship had brought her through so much, had taught her so much about herself. It had helped her strip off her armor, and find she didn’t need it anymore.
And she’d started, not just to love him, but to trust him.
But she hadn’t done that for him. He was still the same. Still at the point he’d been when they’d first began.
And no matter what sort of lie she’d told herself to the contrary, sleeping under the stars with him hadn’t meant a damn thing.
Except it had to her. It had meant everything.
This deal is what’s supposed to mean everything. Barrows is supposed to mean everything.
Yeah, it was. But all she could think of was that when this presentation was over, when the deal was made, there would be no real reason for Ferro to share her bed anymore.
And that was something she simply wasn’t ready to think about.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JULIA WAS SO filled with energy she had to jiggle her knee beneath the table to keep it from spilling over completely.
“Don’t be nervous,” Ferro said.
“I’m not. Just excited. Everyone will be here soon and we get to pitch out an idea and it is so awesome.”
“Hamlin will be here, too.”
“He’s pitching in the same meeting? Oh. Goody.”
“Not my preference, either. I was only told in my last phone call with Weston just before I got here.”
“At least the CEO called you. He didn’t call me.”
“I’m the lead on the project,” he said, his smile reflecting that easy charm of his. But this time, the teasing seemed genuine.
“Like hell, billionaire man, this is just as much mine as yours.” She reached under the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing him gently. He froze and pulled away.
She was about to say something when the door opened and the board of directors for Barrows, plus all the executives and Scott Hamlin, filed into the room.
Hamlin was clearly taking the “suck-up” approach to the whole thing. His hand was glued to Carl Weston’s back, his laugh too loud and too obvious as they made their way to their seats.
Introductions were made, and Scott got up to give the first presentation. Julia’s confidence and all around smugness increased the longer Hamlin talked about his product. It was nowhere near as sophisticated as theirs. Nowhere near as user friendly or generally awesome.
She had almost tuned him out, his speech was so boring, when he came to the wrap-up.
“In short, I think you’ll find my product to be exactly to the briefing. Inexpensive to manufacture and easy to repair should something go wrong, not that it will. And even more importantly, my company will not put a stain on the reputation of Barrows. At Hamlin Tech we uphold family values. Unlike the sort of values my opponents seem to uphold, or rather denigrate. But then, let’s be honest, we know Mr. Calvaresi is a professional at seducing what he wants out of a woman. And unlike Ms. Anderson, no one at Hamlin has ever sold their body to the competition to get ahead.” He leveled his gaze at Julia when he said the last bit, and it stung. Like a whip across her skin. She knew it wasn’t true, that she’d had Ferro because she wanted him and for no other reason. The irony was him accusing her of selling her body, when it was much closer to Ferro’s truth. But he was just the sort of man who would assume that about a woman, the sort of man who had no respect for women at all. Just another reason to grind him into the dirt with their awesome presentation.