“That’s nice when it happens, but in my life, what I have seen is that the one with the most power ends up taking control of the game. And you don’t want to be the one out of control.”
“So, summation, in Ferro world, control trumps passion.”
“Every time, cara.”
“But control doesn’t help you think of cool games. Check and mate.”
He laughed, a sound that seemed pulled from him, as though he wasn’t used to it. But she’d heard him laugh a few times. She didn’t know why this one seemed different. More genuine.
“I cannot argue with your logic. On that point.”
“Great.”
Their salmon appeared a few minutes later, with wine, which Julia was very happy to see, all things considered.
They ate in silence for a while, both of them enjoying the view of the lake, which was still brilliant and bright despite the late hour, thanks to the Alaskan summer.
She flashed back to her presentation, nearly two weeks ago now. And she laughed.
“What?” he asked, looking up from his dinner.
“Well,” she said, straightening, “two weeks ago you crashed my presentation and I wanted to kill you, cheerfully, with whatever object was readily available. And now, here we are, sitting across from each other, and I have a knife to my right and I don’t even want to use it on you.”
“We have come a long way.”
“Indeed.” She took a bite of her rice pilaf. “You almost seem civilized.”
“Don’t make that mistake, Julia,” he said.
“Why? You don’t want to have to live up to my expectations?”
“I don’t want you to have expectations that are impossible to have met. Don’t forget, when this is over, all bets are off. And this experience, you and me, it’s not off-the-record. I’m going to remember everything you say to me. Every weakness you show. Every secret you betray. And I will use it against you.”
“You’ve been nothing but honest with me, Ferro. For your sins, you aren’t a liar. So I believe you,” she said, her throat tightening, aching. Strange. “No worries.”
Maybe because he was so determined to not have a moment of connection with her. Maybe because she was starting to feel a connection, however strange, with him.
Something about him certainly touched her, reached deep in her and made her feel things—want things—that she hadn’t really given a lot of thought to wanting in a long time.
What? More kissing? More than kissing? With him? That would be really stupid.
Also, though, really delicious.
Wow, she needed help. Professional grade help.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
She nodded. Except if they left, they were going to be back in the hotel room. Alone. Together.
“Maybe,” she said, “maybe we could go…hike?”
“At nine o clock?”
“It’s light out.”
“Bears?”
“Oh. Right. Well, I don’t really want to run into any bears.”
“I didn’t think you would.”
She sucked in a breath. “Okay. The room then.”
Ferro put some bills down on the table. “Since you’re paying for our accommodations.”
“Noble of you,” she said, her stomach tightening. Why was she reacting like this? It was pathetic. She was strung so tight it was unbelievable. “Oh!” She remembered her pajama situation and nearly panicked. “Um, I will meet you at the room.”
“Okay.” He shrugged and turned to go, leaving her there.
She breathed out a long, slow gust of air then headed in the direction of the gift shop. She would get sweats. And then she wouldn’t feel quite so out of place and thrown off with Ferro staying in her room. Maybe. Probably not. But it was worth a shot.
* * *
Ferro reclined on the couch, his eyes on the sky, still illuminated at eleven. Julia had disappeared to take a shower a half hour before, and he was simply lying there, thinking far too much.
Not so much about her naked body beneath the hot spray of water, but of why he shouldn’t think of it.
He was allowing the shame to do its job, to be the reminder he needed for why he wouldn’t allow himself to give in to feeling attraction for her.