“Nothing…”
She laughs as she pats one of the classroom benches. “Sit.” She passes me a blank coloring page and a pack of colored pencils.
This is how things always worked between us.Color and confessshe would always call it, seeing as she always got me to break down eventually.
“As much as I love you stopping by to see me, I can’t help but wonder why.”
“Do I need an excuse to come visit my mother?”
“Seeing as you haven’t visited my classroom for three years, yes you do.”
I sigh.
“That bad, huh?”
My head drops as I stare down at my hands. “Declan and I got into a fight last week.”
“Ahh. I assumed as much.”
“Things got a bit too real and honest, if you know what I mean.”
The few wrinkles by her eyes tighten. “He said some things that hurt you.”
I give her an abridged version of our fight, mainly focusing on our issues with work and how that bled into our personal life.
“I can’t help but wonder…” My voice trails off as I consider how to phrase my worry.
“Whether he might turn out to be like your father,” she finishes for me.
“Yes.”
She puts her hand over mine, stopping my coloring. “It’s a normal fear after everything you’ve witnessed between your father and me, but you need to understand that couples fight. It’s a part of any healthy relationship. That doesn’t mean the other person should ever talk down to you or intentionally hurt you, but people make mistakes. This isn’t going to be the first or last time Declan says something he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. But so long as he is sorry—and I meantrulysorry—then you need to learn how to forgive him.”
“Easy for you to say.”
She gives my hand a squeeze. “Learning how to forgive is just as important as asking for it in the first place.”
1 Noun, Portuguese: A feeling of longing, melancholy, desire, and nostalgia.
46
DECLAN
Like clockwork, I send Iris another message in the morning. I attach a photo of us at the Botanic Garden with a word that describes the exact yearning I feel for her.
Me:Sehnsucht1.
I stare at my phone screen for far longer than I should, waiting for a reply that never comes. My heart shrinks in my chest with each ignored message.
You can either get upset or move forward with the plan.
I take a deep breath, shut down my computer, and lock up my office.
“Where are you going?” Cal looks up from the computer.
“I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
“What?”