He navigates through the minefield of potted plants before dropping onto my worn leather couch. “Why did you do it?”
I take a seat across from him and tuck my knees against my chest. “Because I’m stupid.”
“How did you go from breaking up with every boyfriend you had before things got ‘too real’ to agreeing to marrymybrother?”
“When you put it that way, it does sound a bit out of character.”
He laughs. “What happened to swearing off men forever?”
“Well, forever does seem like a long time when you think about it…”
“Says the woman who thought an ex-boyfriend buying her a spare toothbrush was‘moving too fast.’”
“This is different.” Sure, my relationship history isn’t the prettiest. I’m always the one to bow out before things get real because fear makes me act first and have regrets later. My patterns aren’t the healthiest, but they’ve prevented me from ever turning into my mother. Because while I love her, growing up witnessing her abusive marriage to my father turned me off from ever putting myself in that position. To love means to lose more than I’m willing to part with.
Cal yanks me out of my head. “Oh, it’s different all right. You’re getting married. And having ababy. As in you are going to make me an uncle.”
My stomach rolls. “I know it sounds crazy—”
“That’s because itiscrazy.”
I throw my hands up. “Then why did you encourage it?”
“Because I didn’t think you would actually go through with it!”
My jaw drops open, but no words make it out.
He sighs. “My brother is the last kind of man you should marry.”
A tightness in my chest grows. “Why?”
“Because he will hurt you. It’s second nature for him, and it’s only a matter of time before you get caught up in the crosswinds.”
“It’s sweet of you to worry, except our relationship is nothing but a contractual agreement. There won’t be an opportunity for him to hurt me.”
That’s why I agreed to this whole idea in the first place. If I was worried about risking my heart, I would have never said yes. But with Declan’s lack of interest in relationships and my fear of commitment, we are a perfect fit.
“Youcould fall in love withhim.”
I laugh until tears spring to my eyes. “Declan and I could be the last two people on Earth and I would still choose my vibrator over him.”
Cal’s lip curls with disgust. “TMI.”
“It’s true!”
“Then how do you plan on having a child together?”
“With the help of someone in a white coat.” While I haven’t reviewed the contract Declan developed, I’m familiar with his expectations forin vitrofertilization.
“Having a child together creates a connection between two people that can never be severed.” A dark look passes over his face, and the ache in my chest intensifies.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I know that.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
I don’t. Not in the slightest. But instead of letting the anxiety swallow me whole, I roll my shoulders back and face my reality.
“Marriage might be hard, but I’m willing to give it my all.”