Viper
Ibent down quickly, scooping her up, causing her to let out a small gasp. Holding her tight against my chest, what I thought might be pure joy exploded along my wires.
Moving at cyborg speed, I was careful not to jostle her as I raced back to my quarters.
My door shutting behind us made panic surge in my veins. Never had I engaged in any type of sexual contact, at least not willingly.
Consent wasn’t needed from cyborgs-at least back before we were free. Humans could do unspeakable things to us. The Service Models were living proof of that.
Dash had been programmed to crave physical touch, but he had been unable to choose who touched him and how.
Many humans had bought Service Models with the intent to abuse them. I should have been spared that horror due to the fact I was a Technology Model, but that hadn’t been the case.
My germ phobia stemmed from the unwanted contact I had been forced to endure. So many pathways had been created in those dark days that I not only had an aversion to germs, but to any form of touch as well.
There were only a few people I considered safe. Oz was now on that list, but I had no clue what to do from here. The kisses had been exceptional. Processor blowing. I would gladly fuse my lips to hers for the rest of my days, but the stuff that might require us to get naked made alarm bells ring inside my head.
But these alarms weren’t the ones that flashed whenever I had gotten too close to something I had deemed full of disgusting germs.
No. These were brand new alarms, warning me that I may be in over my head.
How was I supposed to impress her with superior cyborg skills in the bedroom when I didn’t even know where to start?
A gentle hand touched my cheek. “Hey, where did you go? You disappeared there for a second.” The smile that had been on her face mere moments ago started to slip as her hand fell. “It’s okay if you have changed your mind. I won’t be upset. For two people who sort of hated each other only a day ago, this is moving pretty fast.” She let out a humorless laugh that pierced my mechanical heart.
“No, Oz. Please don’t let my hesitation make you doubt how I feel.”
Her eyes searched my face, her gaze softening. “This is kind of terrifying, isn’t it?” The back of her fingers brushed along my cheek. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not good at letting people in. The rebellion just witnessed my freak out in the hallway. My past is ugly, Viper. I’m not sweet like Poe.” She ran a shaky hand through her short pink locks. “What I am is a runner. I have been since the age of thirteen. I’m only a badass because I had to be.” She hung her head. “I’m terrified of fucking this whole thing up. That once you learn the truth about what I’ve lived through…the shit I’ve done to survive, you will decide I’m not worth it.”
Her hand landed on my chest, resting over the beat of my heart. “I want to stay more than I want to run.” Her fingers trembled against my frame. “For the first time, Iwant, Viper. Friends, family, a home.” Her lower lip quivered. “You.”
My heart thudded inside my chest, my systems unable to regulate its beat. I knew what I had to do. What we both had to do. With sure steps, I carried Oz to my bedroom and put her down carefully on the bed. “Lay down.”
Her brows arched. “I was kind of confessing shit back there, pouring my heart out, and all you have to say is lay down?” She frowned. “Don’t think I feel much like sexy time right now. In fact, I think I should leave…I thought…” Her feet hit the floor, her arms wrapping around to hug herself. “Guess it doesn’t matter what I thought. See you around, Viper.”
She made a move for the door and I caught her wrist.
“Trust me.” Two simple words that made her stiffen. “I know I’m asking a lot. More than you might be able to give. But I am going to trust you, Oz. I am going to share what I have never told anyone else.” I ordered my processors to keep going. Sharing our truths was the only way we were going to move beyond this point. If we kept our secrets safe, refusing to acknowledge all the demons in the dark, they would consume us slowly until Oz ran or I shut down.
Not even the other cyborgs knew what I was about to confess. Marley had seen the aftermath. Dax had his suspicions, and being so brilliant, I was sure had pieced some of it together.
Reaper had never asked. He simply let me work out my anger by going on raids to free cyborgs and punishing the ones responsible for hurting them.
“Please.” We had to purge our pasts. Kisses and declarations were great, but they don’t expose our scars.
I planned to reveal mine to Oz. All I could hope for was that she showed me hers in return.
She let out a breath then turned back around and climbed up on the bed. She laid down, the tension in her body clearly visible. She had no idea what was coming. She was doing what I asked without knowing why.
“You honor me,” I rasped. “Roll over on your side, please.” Tiny creases appeared between her eyes, confusion playing across her face, but she obeyed, rolling over and drawing her legs up.
Sliding onto the bed behind her, I fitted my frame against her body, my arms wrapping around her to hold close. I drew my legs up, cocooning her slight frame within my larger one.
Pressed together, not an inch left remaining between our bodies, I waited. Not one ounce of revulsion, only contentment, soared through my circuits. Holding her felt right. Like my arms, my whole frame, had been crafted for this one female. I smiled into her hair.
“Have to be honest. This wasn’t what I thought you had planned when you told me to lie down.” She snuggled deeper into my embrace.
“You will always be safe with me. Nothing will ever happen without your permission.” I covered her hand with mine. “You know, it’s silly. A cyborg cannot truly be contaminated. Our processors can be corrupted, but germs breaching the barrier of our skin would be nearly impossible. Even if it occurred, our frames would flush it from our systems. Yet I find myself terrified at the thought of germs-at the thought of getting contaminated. It’s all due to events from my past.” I breathed in her scent, letting it cycle through me, giving me strength to keep talking. “You’re not the only one who is terrified, Oz. What if you learn about me and decide I am not worth it? That I’ve never willingly touched a female in my life, except for my friend, Marley. She saved me as a MechTec, and because of that, I deemed her safe.”