But I asked for this, so I’ll suffer the consequences.
She writes slowly, meticulously picking each word.
I tend to the boys, giving her time to formulate whatever it is she has to say, until she finally sets her pen down and steps away from the table.
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to read what she’s written because I feel it will somehow change things between us.
Not that what she says matters. The outcome will always be the same: she goes to the Keep and I stay on pest control.
It’s how it has to be.
I sit at the table and hold the card, reading Suki’s carefully written message.
“I camefrom a name in Korea. At seventeen, I was sent to states to meet husband. I was never what he wanted and brought only shame. We hardly shared a bed, and sought treatments for Hyun, because I was so unworthy.”
I rereadit at least three times, wondering what the hell it all means. I’m pretty sure ‘name’ translates to influential family, but how her husband didn’t want her boggles my mind. And the treatments? IVF possibly? is just bonkers.
I don’t believe for a second that she did anything to incur his ire. He was probably some rich asshole that wanted complete obedience and was willing to demean Suki to get it.
I swear to God, whoever ends up claiming Suki, they better treat her right or I’ll fucking kill them myself.
I don’t have long before the men are scheduled to pick them up, so I have to make her understand. So she’s not scared.
Suki’s face is down-turned, looking sad.
I walk over and pull her to my chest. “It’s alright. I got you.”
Her fingers dig into me as if she doesn’t believe I am real.
I guide her to the chair and pull out additional cards. I hand one to her.
“I havea safe place for you and the boys.”
Her brow furrowsas she reads the message. She looks up at me with inquisitive eyes, and I hand her the next one.
“My friends are comingto bring you to the place. There will be food, shelter, friends, safety.”
She licks her lips,clearly nervous. Then she grabs the dictionary and flips through it.
Finally, she looks at me and says, “With-you?”
I hate breaking her heart, but she deserves better, and I’m not a father type.
I utter the word, “No,” feeling like complete shit. I can’t even look at her. It hurts so fucking bad.
There’s no debate about this. What I’m doing is the right thing. Cole, Gabriel, Alistair would all be better to her and her kids than I would be. Let them have her.
After a long minute, she says, “Not-go!”
I press my eyes closed, trying to muster the last of my strength. Then I grab the dictionary and compose another card.
“Safe for boys. Safe for you.”
She reads it over,giving a slight nod. There’s a tear in her eye I want to wipe away, but that would be reckless at this point.
I write another card.
“Tell boys.”