I have to hand it to her. She’s doing her best, despite the terrible odds she’s faced. Seeing the way she cares for her boys while putting the food away, talking softly, smiling affectionately, makes me want to get her to safety.
If I’d had a mom like her, maybe I wouldn’t have been so eager to get the hell out of dodge the moment I turned eighteen.
After joining the military, I immediately got selected for special forces. I served under Gage, and when he was recruited to the Civil Police, he took me with him.
So I guess having a shit mom pretty much saved my ass.
But these kids deserve better than what I had.
That settles it. Suki deserves to be able to parent her children safely, without the fear of the dead and living alike.
After my leg heals enough for me to walk, I’ll radio for help, and have a team pick them up. It’s the best I can do.
Still, that doesn’t mean we can’t communicate while we’re stuck here. And I wouldn’t mind using her methods.
* * *
SUKI
As much as I love them, my boys exhaust me.
For the longest time, I thought it was due to some deficit within me. That I wasn’t meant to be a mother. I couldn’t handle the supreme responsibility of raising two boys.
My husband all but confirmed this, hiring nannies to take my place.
But seeing Trent so overwhelmed by them, I feel a sense of pride. I’ve kept them alive for months during a time when millions died. I’ve crept the city, gathering food, all while they stayed safe in my absence.
Minus the sword wound Duri endured from my admitted negligence.
I can hardly blame Trent for the chaos I’d returned to. Duri and Hyun have been on edge with his presence, especially with how badly Duri’s stitches hurt.
“Momma, I want Spaghetti-O’s,” Duri whines.
“I couldn’t find any today.”
“This cheese isn’t melty enough.”
“It’s the best I could do.”
“When is that man leaving?”
I frown, deeply unsettled by the rush of emotion coursing through me. There’s no way he’s staying any longer than he has to after what just happened, not that I’d expected him to. But now, I doubt he’ll even wait until he’s fully healed before hightailing it out of here.
I shouldn’t care whether he stays or goes. If anything, his departure should bring me relief. He’s not the only one that wears that black uniform, and if he were to come back with others, I’m not entirely sure what would happen to me.
Just weeks ago, I knocked his friend out. I’d made sure to close the door behind me when I’d left, so the dead couldn’t get him. But it was still assault.
Throughout the day, Trent looks at me apologetically, although there’s no reason for him to be sorry. When I first entered the room, I was in shock, and quickly went to work managing Hyun. He calmed easily with the candy, which was a pretty shitty parenting move on my part. I just wanted peace so I could find a way to apologize to Trent for leaving him without warning.
But with the silence of my preoccupied children, I realize there is no way to do that. I don’t know English, and he doesn’t know Korean. I could use Duri as a translator, but with how prickly he is around Trent, I’m not entirely sure he will translate accurately, and he could say something regrettable.
I heat a can of soup, splitting it between two bowls and handing one to Trent. It’s not much, but it’s a start.
The side of his mouth curls in a half-hearted smile that threatens to melt me. He was probably a heartbreaker before the apocalypse, so handsome, he wouldn’t give me a second glance.
When I realize I’m staring, I pry my eyes away and move to the other side of the room.
Because it’s so awkward, I try to ignore him rather than suffer a miscommunication. I spend the day reading to Duri and Hyun, playing games, and eventually, putting them to sleep.