He doesn’t speak again until he has my second shoe on, and then he pins me with a look. “Why didn’t you choose one or the other to begin with?”
A lump forms in my throat. It’s a question I’ve been asked dozens of times, from my father to people who are barely more than strangers. The only two who never actually asked me are Gaeton and Beast. They’re the only ones I owe an answer to. “Because I’m selfish.” When he just waits, obviously wanting more, I press my lips together. I can do this. I can be honest. “You are both so different. I wanted you because you’re this mystery wrapped up in the prettiest package I’ve ever seen. I wanted Gaeton because he’s giant and brutal and yet has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Being with you brings out different things in me.” My voice wobbles a little bit, but I power through. “And I liked that you were both mine, that I was both of yours. The things Gaeton accused me of are the truth of it. Part of me got off on bouncing back and forth between you.”
His expression gives me nothing. No condemnation. Certainly not forgiveness. “There are people who aren’t meant for monogamy, Isabelle.”
I’m not sure if he’s trying to absolve or condemn me. “If you really believed that, you wouldn’t be having me choose at the end of this.” I hold up a shaking hand when he starts to speak. “I’m not trying to get out of the choice. I’m just saying that what we had before didn’t work. We can’t go back to that.”
“No, what we had before didn’t work.” He rises smoothly to his feet and tugs me off the bed. “Do you trust us to take care of you tonight?”
I try for a smile, but it doesn’t feel natural on my face. “I thought you wanted to punish me.”
“Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” He brushes strokes a finger down my jaw. “You’re going to be on display, princess. Are you ready for that?”
I don’t know. I truly don’t. Part me wants to curl up in a ball at being the center of a scene in front of an audience. But the rest of me? My skin goes hot and my pussy gives a pulse of desire. If it was just me, maybe it would feel different, but it’s not just me. I have Beast and I have Gaeton and, if things are beyond complicated between us, I still trust them to guide me through. “Yes.”
“Good.” He leads me out into the main room where Gaeton is waiting for us. “We have something for you.”
Gaeton’s the one who opens the large square box before me. The smile he had for Tink is nowhere in evidence now. I want to apologize, but words aren’t enough anymore. Maybe they never were.
To distract myself, I look down and go still. The solid black collar is plain enough, but the carefully crafted rose in the center needs no other ornamentation. I reach out tentatively and brush my finger against the red petals. They’re all jewels, cut into a perfect rendition of my favorite flower.
“This tells everyone in the Underworld that you’re ours.” Gaeton holds perfectly still. “Will you take it?”
“Yes.” I don’t have a choice, but that’s not why anticipation thrills through my blood. This marks them as mine as much as it marks me as theirs. I want that marking. I want the world to know that I am connected to these two men. That I am owned by them. A primitive, uncomfortable feeling, but I refuse to shy away from it. The last couple days haven’t been easy by any means, but the harshness of our words and actions have been a strange sort of balm for my soul.
This is that nebulous thing I always craved but could never define. The element missing from both my relationships with them.
Beast takes the box from Gaeton. “Put it on her.”
Seeing the delicate collar in his big hands does something for me. I press my lips together and hold perfectly still has he lifts my hair off my neck and fastens the collar around my neck. His fingers linger against my nape for the barest second. “Too tight?”
“No.”
He steps back, depriving me of his solidness at my back. I close my eyes for a long moment to try to get control of my emotions. I feel like an exposed nerve right now. No matter how close we get, Gaeton keeps holding himself at a distance.
I don’t know if he can ever truly forgive me.
I don’t know if I can pick him if forgiveness isn’t on the table, even if it’s a forgiveness I don’t deserve.
When I open my eyes, it’s to find Beast watching me. I catch him completely unfiltered for an entire breath, the longing on his face potent enough to rock me back on my heels. I don’t know if he’s looking at me or at Gaeton at my back. Before I can figure it out, he locks himself down again, his expression carved in ice just like it always is. “Let’s go.”