GUNNER 1
I come awake with a start, my heart is thundering, my vision is blurred as I snap up from where I am laying. “Fuck” I growl as I lean forward placing my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I am so fucking tired of this constant fight, all I want to do is run wild, let my wolf loose and only come back to civilization when this internal rage has dissipated.
The wolf in me wants to tear at everything and everyone, the only thing holding him back is my perseverance. But I don’t know how much longer I can hold on, how much longer I can hold my wild side back without losing my mind.
As wolf shifters we keep away from drugs and heavy drinking as it drives our wolves insane. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice as I was captured by the Hades MC and drugged until the others found me. Since then that I haven’t had a moment of peace, it has been six months now and I am still struggling through the days.
Lifting my head, I growl deep in my throat trying to relieve some of the anger coursing through my veins. “Motherfuckers” I grunt as I stand and start to pace, my naked chest glistening with sweat from the constant nightmares. I need to find a way to keep sane, a way to keep the rage at bay. The others are already weary of me, weary of the constant bursts of violence.
I know that Fang blames himself because of what happened, but it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own for being stupid enough to get caught by those sons of bitches. Lifting my hand, I run my hand through the tangled strands of my hair feeling it pulling painfully at my scalp but enjoying the short-lived relief the pain gives me from the rage that usually overshadows everything else.
I can’t change, it would be too risky as I doubt I would be strong enough to turn back into my human state. My wolf is pushing me, but I will push back for as long as I can. I need to get out of here, the walls of my room feel like they are closing in on me. I need to get on my Harley and ride, I need to feel the wind on my face, trying to feel as free as a ride will allow me.
Leaning down I pick up the t-shirt laying at the foot of my bed that I took off before laying down. I slide it over my head as I turn to pick up my boots that are near the door. I was always meticulous with my stuff, but since what happened that I can’t build up the strength to fucking care. Sitting on the edge of the bed I pull on my Cat boots knotting the laces before standing again and picking up my kutte from behind the chair near the only window in my room.
Instead of joining the prospects that are patrolling the grounds like I have done on so many other occasions before, I head out of my room and down the corridor towards the exterior door that leads towards the garage door where my bike is. Just as I reach the door, I see Frost standing there, a cigarette between his lips, his eyes following me as I approach.
“Can’t you sleep?” I ask as I come to stop before him.
Frost can be a mean son of a beach when angered, but he also has his soft side that he hides from everyone. Sometimes I think he even hides it from himself, “You want to ride, or talk?” Frost asks as he turns into the garage and towards his bike.
I know that Frost has his own demons that he fights, but there is no other brother I would rather have at my back then Frost. Frost is one hundred percent loyal to the club and the men that make up this club that we belong to. We aren’t just a motorcycle club, but a pack, and as a pack we are like brothers.
“Let’s ride!” I grunt knowing that even if I refuse, Frost will be riding with me. King would have my nuts if I had to leave the club alone. Ever since the problems we have had with the law and the fucking serial killer, whom has decided to try and blame us for the killings in the area, that King has ordered that anyone leaving the club will be accompanied by another.
Mounting my bike, I lean forward turning it on, sighing when I hear the familiar roar of the engine. I don’t know where we will be riding to or for how long, but I know that no matter what, Frost will be by my side. I am about to slide my bike into gear and take off when Fang appears in the doorway.
“Going somewhere?” he asks looking from Frost to me, and back to Frost that I see shrug. “Great, nowhere in particular the way I like it.” He states as he heads towards his bike. I raise a brow but don’t say anything knowing that it won’t serve any purpose. Fang is our club’s enforcer, for the simple reason that no matter what he is able to keep his cool and think clearly, contrary to most of us here.
I know that they are going with me not just to watch my back but to make sure that I don’t lose control. No one is safe by me; I am a bomb on a short fuse, and anything can trigger an explosion. Riding out I hear the roar of their engines, but I ignore them as I take off letting the smells of the night guide me, the wind directing my course.
If I can’t run wild, then this is the next best thing, but even riding doesn’t completely appease the fury that my wolf is feeling. I don’t know how much longer I will be able to fight this fight, but no matter what, I will not give in to the rage, I will not let those motherfuckers win. I am consumed with my thoughts when I am brought to the present by Fang coming up next to me indicating that he needs fuel. I nod, falling back to let him take the lead.
A couple of miles down the road we are turning into a service station that is open twenty-four hours. “Let’s eat!” I call as I park my bike before one of the burger joints. One thing about being part wolf is that we are always hungry, there might be turmoil around us but show us food and we are content to eat.
Walking inside I see that there is only one other table with a couple that is taken, but at four in the morning I wasn’t expecting to see many people around. A waiter walks up to the table where Frost and I slid into, a smile on his face but a tired look around his eyes. “Good morning, a bit early to be riding around, isn’t it?” he quips which immediately has my body stiffening in anger. I know that he is just trying to be friendly, but his tone is rubbing me the wrong way.
“What has that got to do with you?” I ask seeing his eyes widen in surprise and then he hurriedly nods in agreement.
“Umm, what…what can I get you?” he stutters not meeting my eyes.
“Double beef burger and Coke,” Frost says, not once looking away from the wide windows next to our table.
“Two” I grunt not bothering with anything else. The waiter hurries away leaving us in silence until Fang walks in and towards us.
“Did you get me anything?” Fang asks as he takes a seat next to Frost.
“No” I reply twirling the salt around in my hand, Fang grunts as he looks over his should catching the waiter’s eye.
“Bring me the same as they are having,” he calls before facing me again. “I have to go and get a friend of my mates tomorrow; you want to come with?” I raise a brow in question as I look at Frost, wondering why he’s not asking him. Fang looks over at Frost that is still looking out the window, anyone looking at him would think that he is completely oblivious to everything around him, well they would be wrong. Frost knows what is happening around him at every second, he is the most suspicious son of a bitch anyone would ever meet.
“Frost is going on a run with Dixon tomorrow.” Fang responds to my silent question, “So, you want to come?” Fuck, I would rather say no as the less I spend with others the better it is, but one never turns down helping a fellow pack member.
“Sure,” besides a long-distance ride may do me good.
“We might need some kind of heat, as you know I’m not their favourite person.” Fang says, a frown on his face.
“So why doesn’t this friend of your woman come by herself?” Frost asks for the first time turning his head to look at Fang.