“I don’t know.” I glanced down at the letter again. I struggled not to slump backwards before I cast my gaze up at a concerned Cass.
So, receiving a threatening hateful letter should all be part of the territory in this world. Right now, I don’t know if I should be glad that I’ve hit the level of stardom that someone has felt the need to take the time to actually send me a threat or if I should be scared by it. I can’t be the only actress that gets them so why is the blood on the paper freaking me out so much?
ChapterTwo
Xander
Iwas Xander Hutton and I was the hired help.
I have a reputation of being a well renowned security detail to musical female geniuses in the industry and now I am on a well-deserved vacation with no expenses spared.
Ha, what a joke! A mockery.
Taking a seat on the edge of the luxury bed in my cabin that my bosses had paid for, I looked outside the window to the beach that spread out into the distance. My eyes were red-rimmed and heavy and through my blurred vision, I couldn’t make out the other people enjoying their vacation as they relaxed on the beach and spent time running out into the sea.
They were enjoying themselves, whereas I had decided to drag myself up into the cabin since arriving and had refused to leave. I knew I’d need to go out soon and find myself something to eat but for now, I chose to ignore my stomach and instead, I reminisced over the past, going over in my head about what happened just a few short weeks ago. I fought the anger within me as I forced back the tears that were threatening to fall. I made a deal with myself that I would not dare let them fall again.
I knew I had to disguise the redness around my eyes. I had hoped that my dark, black-framed glasses would do the job. If they didn’t, the moment that I ventured outside, I’d be unable to avoid the endless bouts of questioning. All I really wanted to do was go without them and allow everyone to catch a glimpse of the pain that was shattering through my body but I’d be half-blind without them. Maybe that could be a punishment I could enforce on myself. Teach myself to learn to live without the purity of a clear view.
I knew nothing would ever come close to punishing myself for what I’d done. Only I could give myself that daily dose of corporal reminiscence.
I had to learn how to deal with the failure I had caused. Deal with the family that I knew I could never face again. Accept that the lIfe I’d failed to protect at all costs—my beautiful twenty-one-year-old sister, Lily—was now dead.
I’d let Lily down. I’d let myself down. She was gone and it was all my fault. My family had lost not just one child that day but two. I’d caused my parents to undertake the worst experience possible; to go on with their lives and carry on with a future without their child in it. It should’ve never happened.
I had been a pig-headed bastard who could never refuse his sister anything she wanted. I should have been more focused on being her security detail and ensuring that her safety came first and pushed her wants back.
The management team thought an all-expenses paid trip would help lift the burden of grief I was experiencing. I couldn’t hide the laughter when they told me. I thought it was an inside joke when they first said it. I get a vacation for the death of my sister who I was meant to protect. It made me wonder what they would give me when I got married or when I had my first child?
Those days would never happen now. I’d ruined my chance of happiness. Who in their right mind thought a trip to a secluded island off the coast of Hawaii would help me deal with my mindset? Did they think two weeks away would be enough and I’d be back in the game? Throw me the next singer on their list and I’d be back to the professional they knew and loved, like nothing had ever happened? Fuck my mindset. They just wanted me out of the media circus that was spreading like wildfire. Lily’s management executive, Desmond Fields, only gave a shit about the image to his company and what that now meant to his back pocket.
The money he’d lose.
He didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t even attend the funeral. His reason was the media.
Fuck the media. This was a life, a person and Desmond Fields wanted to hide behind rehearsed media scripts and released statements from his publicists, rather than give a personal message. A coward, that’s what he was, pure and simple. One day he’d realize his mistakes and I hoped he would come begging for forgiveness. That would be the day that I would slam the door in his face and let him realize the enormity of his errors. Desmond Fields could live with the shame on his shoulders, just like I will have to.
A knock at the door disturbed me from my train of thought.Great, just what I need.
Barrett Hartford.
Barrett and I had been mates and colleagues since we’d trained with Cameron Wright and his security firm five years ago. I had ended up specializing in the protection and security of female musicians whereas Barrett flitted wherever the job took him. Cameron’s training repertoire had given me a foot up into the industry and had resulted in me making connections with some well-known music agencies.
It’s not like I had ever needed the connections though as my skills had spoken loud enough. I was employed on an exclusive contract with Desmond Fields and had been assigned to various artists over the years. All were short-term contracts before the next star needed my skills.
Three years ago at just eighteen-years-old, I was shocked to the core when my sister, Lily, came bouncing out of Desmond Fields office and jumped straight into my arms with joy. I didn’t have a clue that she would be there but when Barrett coughed from behind her back, I dropped him to the ground and wanted answers.
I never expected Lily to reveal that Barrett was her personal security detail or that she’d even needed one, but I had only just come back from a world tour before leaving my last artist. Why wouldn’t she have one with the talent of her voice? It was the four-year record contract in her hand that gave me the shivers. If she needed security before signing with Desmond Fields, how much would she require now?
I managed a year of supporting alternative artists before I had demanded to be added as additional security to Lily’s team. To this day I constantly weigh up whether that was an error of judgment on my behalf. Should I have requested more support the bigger Lily’s fanbase became or should I have begged her to take a step back? I know if I had tried to get her to leave the musical empire she’d built, she would have hated me. So instead, I inserted myself into her life, ensuring that every need she had was met. No matter what it was and how hard it was to do, I ensured that it was done.
Barrett and I worked seamlessly together as we added in the additional members of the team on high crowd level days. It was a dream. We worked to precision and we all knew our roles. The team had no issue with undertaking commands from either one of us but that fateful day it all changed. The link between Barrett and I severed and the unthinkable happened.
“Xander, open up!” The insistent knocking continued.
I groaned, reaching for my glasses and quickly slid them on. I got up and headed to the door before I opened it up a sliver. “I said I’d give you a day to settle in here after dragging you on the flight but you need to come outside and at least eat something.”
“Barrett, leave me alone,” I uttered, keeping the gap of the opened door small. “Enjoy the trip and do as you please but I don’t need babysitting. I told you that at the time—”