Colt
I peerout the door in time to see Nova’s little red car sputtering away down the long drive. Something about her eyes, a rich sapphire blue, completely took me off guard. Her long, reddish-brown hair that hung just right across her buxom frame put my head in a blender.
I grip my chest as the long, cold fingers of guilt squeeze my heart. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Not one woman has caught my eye since I lost Patti, but now? I can’t deny that I felt things stirring deep within me the minute she crossed the threshold of my home.
I head through the house, grateful that I’ve finally returned to the home I used to share with Patti. After that fateful night, I ran away. I left the state and vowed never to return, but I’ve been having such strange dreams lately. Something told me that the only way to move forward with my life is to clear this place out and sell it.
I glance around the living room. The empty mantle where, at one time, our pictures sat. A cold feeling washes over me. It would be different if I gave a damn, if I missed my wife at all. All I can do is wait for Nova to return and carry out her duties. Once the house is clear, I can finally move on with my life, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
* * *
The doorbell ringsat nine on the dot. When I throw open the door, I’m again hit with the overwhelming effect Nova has on me. My chest constricts the second her eyes meet mine. Her full lips spread into a warm smile, as bright as the sun itself. Her jeans fit her like a glove, as does the t-shirt that shows off her full chest.
I hold the door open for her. The scent of her floral shampoo fills the air when she passes by. I close my eyes and breathe her in. It’s been a long time since I’ve smelled something so sweet. Immediately I’m plagued by guilt for allowing myself the pleasure.
“Well, where do you want me to start?” She says, slapping her palms against her thighs.
“The second floor. I have work to do and prefer to do it at the dining room table.” I say, desperately trying not to get lost in her big, blue eyes.
“You’re the boss.” She says, raising her eyebrows. “But I do have one request. The curtains?” She scrunches her nose up.
“What about them?”
“Can we open them? Get a little light in here.” She heads toward the sofa. “It’s so gorgeous out, and if I’m honest, this place needs a little fresh air. Don’t you feel it?”
The need for fresh air? Allowing myself to feel good in a home that comes with so many tortured memories? “Not particularly.”
“Well, if it’s okay with you, I’d like them open when I work. Moving things around stirs up dust and…well, other things.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “What kind of other things?”
“Well,” she leans against the arm of the sofa. How is it that Nova looks more natural in this home than Patti ever did? She never wanted to move here; it was my dream to own and restore an old Victorian. “I’ve come to find that the process stirs up a lot of emotion.”
I think of all the time I’ve spent running from mine. “I think I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will.” Nova reaches out as if to touch me, but she stops short. My heart sinks a bit, realizing how good her touch might feel. “I just wanted to say something because it seems like a horrible loss you’ve suffered.” A strand of auburn hair falls against her full cheek. She promptly brushes it away. “It’s best to be prepared, you know, just in case?”
“Thank you for being conscientious.” My tone is gruffer than I intend.
Her brow furrows slightly, and I can’t read her expression. “You’re welcome.”
She lets out a long sigh and hooks a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m going to run out and grab some boxes; then I’ll start on the three upstairs bedrooms.”
I turn away, avoiding her bright eyes. “Sounds good.”
As soon as she’s out the door, I turn back toward the window and watch her. Nova’s full hips sway with each step. A woman so confident, so full of life working in the business of death surprises me. This can’t be an uplifting career. I wonder how she got into it.
“No,” I whisper out loud to myself. Getting to know Nova is off the table. I didn’t come back here to meet a woman and start over. I came here so that I could move on with my life, alone. That’s what fate has in store for me. I’ve known it from the second I lost Patti, even if she wasn’t faithful, even if I didn’t make her happy enough to stick around and work through our marriage. She was still my wife the moment she took her last breath. I don’t deserve happiness when I couldn’t be man enough not to marry Patti in the first place.
The door brings me back to the present. Nova waddles in, a dozen flat moving boxes under her arm. One flies out from under her, and she nearly trips.
I rush over and grab the box that landed near her feet. “Here, let me help,” I say, and when I stand up I’m staring right into her bright sapphire eyes. It only lasts a second, but in that span of time, it feels like two dots connecting.
When I finally catch my breath, I shake my head and turn toward the stairs. “I’ll take these up for you.”
“Thanks,” she says, but I don’t look back, reminding myself that Nova Richmond is here to clean out my past, not contribute to my future.