“I don’t know what you want me to say, Austin. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for you, it’s just… it’s too soon, I think.”
“Too soon. Right.” Of course, it was too soon. They’d barely known each other two months and he was already professing his love.
A loud chime from her computer saved them both from figuring out what to say next and she sent him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Meeting.”
“Don’t apologize. You work and I’ll…” What? There was no game prep, no practice, nothing for him todo.He could watch TV but since he normally spent his time watching sports channels, even that didn’t appeal. The last thing he wanted was to watch his own injury play out over and over again while the talking heads discussed when and if he'd be back on the field. “I guess I’ll just hang out.”
“Hey.” Her soft voice pulled his attention back to her. “We’ll figure this out. It’s not like you have to decide what comes next right this second. Once you go see the orthopedic surgeon and get an idea of how bad it really is, we can talk about what comes next. For now, you just need to focus on resting and healing. Right?”
“Sure. I’ll get out of your hair.”
He’d managed to make it to the doorway of the kitchen before she called his name. “Yeah?”
“Are we okay?”
Turning back to her, he forced a smile. “Yeah, kitten. We’re okay.”
“Good. I—that’s good.”
He waited a heartbeat, then two, to see if she’d say anything else, but her attention had already switched back to her computer. Feeling a hell of a lot less steady than he had when he’d woken up, he went in search of something to occupy his day.
* * *
Katherine
When the nursecame at noon, Kit took the opportunity to slip out of the house for a few minutes. She’d told Austin she had some errands to run, but the truth was she just needed a moment to herself. The car door had barely closed behind her before the panic set in and she was forcing herself to take deep, shuddering breaths to keep it at bay.
He loved her. Austin Barrick had told her he loved her. Like it was just something people said to each other and not an earth-shattering, life-changing admission.
It wasn’t even like she was planning to hold him to it. The man had just been through a traumatic event. Everything he knew had been turned on its head, so it only made sense that he was clinging to anything normal, or safe. Which, at the moment, was her. And his supposed love for her.
Her stomach quivered at the memory. What was she supposed to do with that? Just pretend it hadn’t happened? Play along until he changed his mind and dumped her?
Because he would, inevitably, change his mind. Maybe he loved her, in his own way, but it couldn’t touch this soul-consumingneedshe felt for him. There was no possible way he felt for her a fraction of what she felt for him.
Could she be happy with that? With living the rest of her life knowing she loved him so much more than he could ever love her? Could they really find happiness in such a lopsided partnership?
Of course,hecould. What man wouldn’t want a woman whose entire existence revolved around him? And if they followed love down its natural path to marriage, kids, the house with the fence, and the yappy little dog—because she definitely wanted the dog—then that would be what happened. She knew she couldn’t give anything less than all of herself to him, to their theoretical family.
A family she wasn't even sure he wanted. They'd never had a chance to talk about marriage or kids or really anything beyond his next game or their next date. And now he'd gone and told her he loved her.
Maybe she should just pretend it hadn't happened. If she didn’t say it back, then he probably wouldn't bring it up again, right? No doubt he was already regretting saying it in the first place, so the polite thing would be to let them both forget the whole conversation.
The nurse was gone by the time she made it back to the house, and Austin was stretched out on the couch with his injured leg propped up on a pile of pillows.
Stopping by the couch, she leaned over to brush a kiss across his cheek. “Brought you the good drugs.”
He held his hand out with a grunt, not taking his eyes off the TV. “Thanks.”
“You need anything before my next meeting?”
“No.”
Okay, maybe ignoring the elephant in the room wasn't going to work after all. Chewing on her bottom lip, she studied the harsh line of his jaw.
She couldn’t give him the words. They gave him too much power. But there was something she could give him, and maybe it would be enough for now.
Walking around to the front of the couch, she knelt in the position he’d taught her before their night at Black Light, her knees spread and her hands facing up, her head dipped down. Somehow, despite the nerves dancing in her stomach, she managed to keep position until he spoke, which felt like an eternity.