He lets out a laugh. “Nah. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. The heart wants what the heart wants, man. We don’t get to pick who we connect with.”
I shake my head with doubt. “Most days I think it’s best if I just walk the fuck away.”
“She’ll haunt you for the rest of your life, Tor. I gotta think that’s going to be way worse than facing the truth.”
“I really don’t know.”
“Want my advice? Work this out in your head. If you can’t accept your feelings, no one else is going to either.” He picks up his gun and goes to work on my chest again. “Talk to her. Figure out if this is something you guys both are willing to fight for. And if it is? Don’t let go. Asher will come around. He’s not going to let his little girl and his best friend out of his life, trust me. Asher’s all about love and family.”
That might be true but I don’t think Asher is going to be on board with me sleeping with his daughter, no matter how long we’ve been friends. He’ll rip my head off and beat me to death with it.
“Thanks, man. I hope you’re right. If I come up missing, my body is probably in pieces somewhere in the woods behind his house.”
“That’s not going to happen. If you need to talk, I’m here. I don’t judge. And to be honest? I think you and Kenzi are good for each other. She’s a sweet girl and she’s kinda way beyond her years in a lot of ways. I don’t think she’d do well with a guy her age at all. Just my two cents.”
An hour later I’m riding home with a piece of plastic taped over the evidence declaring that I’m clearly and stupidly in love with Kenzi Valentine. Lukas’ words definitely hit home. If I can’t accept my feelings for her, no one else will. Especially her.
I’m done being screwed with and treated like a yo-yo. I need someone who’s going to commit to me one hundred percent and spend the rest of my life with me. I want to start a family and put all crazy shit behind me. Can I really get that from an eighteen-year-old girl?
21
Kenzi
Tor ~ age seventeen
Asher ~ age seventeen
Asher and I are in his father’s private home studio jamming when Ash drops this huge bomb on me.
“We’re getting married two weeks after we graduate.”
My hand freezes on my guitar and I stare at him sitting on a stool in front of the mic with a big grin on his face.
“Married?” I repeat.
“Yeah. We don’t want to wait. And we’re going to get a small apartment in town, I already put a deposit down on it. We don’t want to live with my parents anymore.”
I blink at him like he’s insane. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to live here for their entire life. His parents’ house is monstrous, with an indoor and an outdoor pool, sauna, freakin’ music studio, and bathroom for every day of the week. Not to mention a refrigerator that’s always stocked with food.
“Ash, you guys are living in a small mansion here. You have your own suite of rooms. You don’t even pay rent. Why would you want to move out?”
“Because my parents are always hovering.”
“They’re hardly ever here.”
“We still want our own place. It’s not fair for Ember to have to live here with my parents and my brothers and my sister. She needs her own place so she feels like we have our own home. I want you to be my best man, too.”
“Well, fuck yeah.”
“And we want you to live with us.”
Whoa. He’s throwing way too much at me and making my head spin.
“Um, come again?”
“Live. With us.”
“Are you bent? Why would you want me to live with you?”
“Don’t you want to get out of your parents’ house?”
“Yeah, but aren’t you getting your own place so you can be alone? Me being there kind of defeats the purpose.”
“We want you to live with us. We can write more songs and practice more if we’re all together. And we’ll need some help with the baby. Kenzi loves you. You’re the only one who can get her to stop crying.”
I knew there had to be a catch.
“So you want me to be like a live in babysitter?”
He laughs. “I guess. Like a manny. You can pay the cable bill and buy groceries and I’ll pay for everything else. C’mon, it’ll be fun.”
I make a few hundred dollars a month working for my father at his bike shop. The plan is for me to work there full time after I graduate at least until the band takes off and we’re living on the road. I can feel it in my gut – we’re going to make it big soon.