“I think she will,” he replies, his voice soft and determined. “Having faith and love can work miracles, Kenzi. If I’ve taught you nothing else, please believe in that. We can’t give up on her.”
I chew my fingernail, swallowing back all the things I should be saying right now to bring my father back down to reality, but I can’t do it to him. Who am I to smash his hopes about the love of his life? Maybe he’s right, and love and faith really can defy mounting facts that point to the opposite of what we want to believe.
“I won’t give up, Dad. I promise.” But honestly, what I really mean is that I won’t give up on my faith in him.
Hefting up the rabbit cage in his muscular arms, a smile spreads across his face, and all I can think is that I want a man to love me someday like my dad loves my mom. That unconditional, no-matter-what, I will fuck with anything that tries to get in my path type of love. I hope wherever my mom is, she knows how deeply he loves her, how he refuses to give up on her or stray from their commitment for any reason. I hope that makes her fight just as hard as he is.
“Let’s get you two loaded up and on your way,” he winks at me as he carefully carries my rabbit out to the hallway.
I need to do a lot of serious soul searching this summer and sort out my feelings, and not just about the whirlwind of new emotions Toren has awakened in me. Obviously, I can’t live with my father forever, and I’m worried the longer I stay with him, the harder it will be to ever leave him if my mother doesn’t come back like he believes she will. I’m afraid we’re totally enabling each other, and not really moving on with our lives. We’re going through the motions, waiting for something to happen that may never happen. How can that be good for either for us?
It takes me a little over three hours to get to Aunt Katherine’s house because I felt like I had to stop at every single rest stop to use the bathroom, whether I really had to go or not. I kept worrying that if I didn’t stop, I’d have to pee a few miles down the road and wouldn’t be able to find another rest area. Total new driver struggles.
Driving slow with the bunny in the back seat, even though my father rigged the seatbelt around her cage to keep her from sliding around back there, seemed like the best thing to do. I wasn’t exactly in a rush, and listening to my favorite music while I drove, belting out lyrics in a voice that would make my father cringe in horror, puts me in a good mood. Having my own car, and driving someplace entirely alone is giving me a new sense of freedom and independence. I can feel the stress leaving me with each passing mile. Maybe Tor is right; I really did need to get away to clear my head. Maybe I’ve clung to him in ways I shouldn’t have and misread my own feelings for him. Hopefully, the time apart will help us figure it out so we can go back to being normal again.
“Oh my God, look at you!” Katherine exclaims, running down the driveway as I climb out of the Jeep. She immediately pulls me into a tight hug, her lavender perfume filling my lungs. “You look so grown up!”
I welcome her embrace and return it with just as much excitement. “You look gorgeous as always.” It’s always a bit of a shock to my heart to see her because my mother shared her same beautiful long hair, friendly eyes, and perfect smile. Katherine’s hair is brown and wavy, which was also my mom’s natural color but she dyed it often depending on her mood. They’re ten years apart in age, but Katherine has always looked much younger than she is.
“Let me look at you!” she steps back and fluffs my hair with her hands. “I can’t believe it’s been a year. You really have to come more often, Kenzi. I miss you so much. I barely recognize you.”
“Well, now that I can drive, I can come whenever I want. And I miss you, too.” I open the back door of my Jeep, and she takes my suitcase as I unhook the rabbit cage from the seatbelt and we head inside together.
The Inn is a beautiful, three-story elegant Victorian house with four private suites and my aunt’s private living space on the first floor which includes a small galley kitchen, living room, master bedroom, and guest room where I’ll be staying. Aunt Katherine likes to greet all the guests personally in the front lobby, and also prepares the gourmet breakfasts, dinners, and mid-day snacks. She’s an amazing chef, and that’s probably where my love of cooking came from. She has two women who have worked for her for years, Tina and Bethany, who do all the housekeeping and help out in other areas if Katherine is busy. I usually help with the meal prep and serving when I stay here, but Katherine also makes sure I have time to relax and enjoy myself. Meeting the guests has always been one of my favorite parts of staying at the Inn, and I’ve met some very intriguing people over the years I’ll never forget. Most notably was a magician that seemed to be able to guess every number or color I was thinking of without fail.