She shoots me a scolding glare. “Do you know how many people come into the shelter every day adopting an animal because they’re grieving? Or depressed? Or lonely? Trust me, I know what it looks like.”
I wonder if she’s right. I’ve rescued hundreds of animals since I started helping her when I was twelve years old, and these are the first two I’ve ever wanted to keep.
“So maybe I’ll grow into a crazy old single cat man,” I joke.
“I guess there are worse things that could happen. Why don’t you and Lisa come over for dinner one night this week? I’d love to get to know her better. She seems lovely.”
“Lovely?”
“Yes. Nice. Polite.”
“Eh…” I curl my lip. Lisa’s just not doing it for me, no matter how lovely she might be.
“Then come by yourself if you want. You can hang my new ceiling fan while you’re there. Bring Diogee, you need to socialize him or you’re both going to be weird around people. You need to get out more.”
I think I’m already weird around people. Just a few weeks ago I told a woman my dick was on a vacation. In fact, I think I may have surpassed weird a while ago. I’m not going to admit that to my mother, though.
Letting out a sigh, I agree to stop by, but mostly because I want her to have the new ceiling fan, not because I want to practice social skills with my dog.
“We have a new volunteer at the shelter, her name is Dani. I could invite her over, too. She’s pretty, and she has two cats, a dog, and a ferret. I think you’d like her.”
“Ma. No. I don’t want to be set up with anyone. Especially with someone who owns a ferret. That’s an instant fuck no.”
“Why? What do you have against ferrets?” She walks around the living room picking up the dog toys and puts them all in a pile by his bed. I know as soon as she’s gone he’s going to spread them all over the house again.
“They’re evil. They’re little fuzzy lunatic ninjas.”
She sighs in utter frustration. “Alright, then. I tried. Call me if you need any help with the kitten. And you should bring it over to the vets as soon as you can for a real checkup. Maybe have Kenzi bring him over for you. She’s been helping at the shelter a lot the past few weeks and she’s really good with the animals.”
A burn spreads in my chest at the mention of her name. “She’s gone to Maine for the summer. I’ll take the kitten myself.”
“Oh,” she says in surprise. “She didn’t even say goodbye. I hope when she gets back home she’ll still volunteer. I love having her there. She has some really good ideas.”
“I’m sure she will, Ma. She told me she wants to. She left sorta at the last minute. She was excited about driving her new car and going on a road trip.” Lies and excuses. The first of many.
My mood shifts from bad to worse once my mom is gone. Kenzi didn’t say goodbye to me, either. She just left without so much as a text or a phone call, which is unlike her. She always says goodbye. If Asher hadn’t mentioned to me that she left before I went on my excursion in the woods, I wouldn’t have known she had left.
I can’t stop thinking about that afternoon when I told her to leave. I don’t know how many times in the past seventeen years I’ve watched her bottom lip quiver with emotion while tears welled up in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. This time was different though, because I’ve never been the one to cause her tears. I’ve always been the one to wipe them away and make it all better. I’ve always been the hero to that adorable little blonde-haired girl who has morphed into a sensual woman in the blink of an eye, and now I don’t know what to do with her.
It took every ounce of self-control I had to resist taking her in my arms and kissing her tears away, telling I didn’t mean what I said and everything will be okay. As always, I ached to make everything better for her. But I couldn’t. That’s what Uncle Tor would do, and unfortunately he went up in flames the moment we touched. That guy is gone, and she can’t ever have him back. Just like I can’t ever have my little blonde-haired princess back.
One forbidden touch, one taboo kiss, and we destroyed who we were. I don’t know who either one of us is anymore or how we got all fucking tangled up in this mess of lust and love that should never exist. But it does exist, and no matter how much I try to deny it, it keeps coming back to get in my face, refusing to be ignored.