It didn’t take me long to figure out there were people who only wanted to be around me because of who I was related to. Kids pretended to be my friend to get concert tickets, t-shirts, an autograph, or to try to see the inside of our house – which might be big and have a small recording studio downstairs, but there’s nothing overly exciting going on here. Boys pretended to like me to get me to slip demo tapes to my father, or to meet the sexy women of my mom’s band, Sugar Kiss. And the high school girls hoped they could meet my hot rock star uncles, or even worse, my dad. I never know who I can trust, or who wants to be friends with me just for me. So other than spending time with my best friend Chloe and my Dad’s younger sister, Rayne, I mostly stay home and hang out with my family, the band, and their friends. They’re the only ones I feel comfortable with.
My pocket vibrates and I pull out my phone to read a text message.
Chloe: Jason said you’re not coming tonight?
Me: No, I’m not in the mood for a party.
Chloe: Come on! It’s Friday night! :) Jason really likes you.
Me: Eh…
Chloe: Don’t mess this up! You can totally lose your V-card with him! He’s hot as fark!
I don’t know what the heck fark is and why Chloe can’t just text the word fuck. But whatever. I accept her because I love her. We initially attached ourselves to each other in third grade, when she was dropped off on the first day of school by her two moms and I was dropped off by my father who was already covered in tattoos and had hair almost to his waist. And he still does. Chloe and I bonded in our mutual outsiderness while the other kids avoided us like we were circus freaks.
Me: Stop with the V-card. You’re obsessed.
Chloe: Fine. Come to the party. I’ll be there. It will be fun. You can’t sit home all the time.
Me: I’m really not into it tonight.
Chloe: Every single girl at the party is going to try to hookup with Jason
Me: We’ve only been seeing each other for two weeks. I don’t care what or who he does.
Chloe: You should and you will! I’ll text you later. Love ya, girl!
Me: Love ya 2
I have zero interest in joining the race to lose my virginity before graduation and I definitely don’t want to be a notch on some guy’s belt before he goes off to college, either. So far, Jason’s kisses haven’t made me feel any feels. For now, I’m happy enough living through the romance books my Grandmother sends to my e-reader, but it’s pretty sad that the kisses in the books are way more exciting than the ones in real life. At least for me.
Music, laughter, and voices rouse me from the nap I slipped into after I texted with Chloe – almost four hours ago. I’m surprised my father didn’t wake me when he came out of the studio, but I guess he’s finally learning to respect my closed door.
Sitting up, I glance at my phone and see I have another text message that came through an hour ago.
Jason: I’m at the party. Want me to come get you? In the car, of course. ;) It’ll be fun.
I type a quick reply:
Me: Thanks but I’m good. Kinda tired tonight. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Jason: ;-( K. You better call ;-)
I’m not sure why I’m going out of my way to avoid him and can’t just attempt to have fun with him. He’s cute and mostly nice. He’s popular. Everyone likes him. I don’t think he’s using me for concert tickets, which is a big plus. Whether he’s trying to make me a notch or really likes me is still a mystery to me. His kisses are hella boring, but he could get better at that in time I suppose. Maybe he’s just nervous?
Or maybe it’s me.
After slipping my sneakers on, I head downstairs, through the kitchen and out the french doors to the back deck leading to our back yard. The sun has set, but the yard is lit up with various lights hidden in the landscaping, scattered tiki torches, the fire pit that’s blazing, and the cool blue glow from the in-ground pool.
It’s no secret my father has a lot of money because his band is super successful, and it’s well deserved. I’ve never once been embarrassed by my father or how he acts on stage. He doesn’t drink, do drugs, or screw around. My uncles in the band have had their moments of crazy over the years, but not my Dad. He’s all business.
Am I spoiled? Not really. My father won’t even buy me a car until after I graduate – if I maintain my good grades until graduation and work to pay for my own gas and insurance. I have a gold card with a limit that would probably allow me to buy a small island, but I don’t abuse it. I respect my dad and the trust he puts in me to not go mental at the mall and buy five thousand dollars’ worth of makeup and shoes. I believe trust is a gift from someone, just like love is. Trusting and loving someone says I have faith in you. And I appreciate the depth of that way more than I do material things. I’ll take faith over shoes any day of the week.