Sure I could have called her from the phone in my room after visiting hours. If I knew her number. I’ve called her cell phone and house hundreds of times over the past years, but always from speed dial on my cell phone. I have no freakin’ idea what those numbers are, and Asher’s number is unlisted.
Technology, you are a sick fuck, thinking you’re making our lives easier with your one touch buttons. Fuck you.
Sydni insisted on driving me home after I was discharged and I didn’t want to cause a scene so I agreed, just to get out of there. But now I’m putting an end to this charade.
I grab Sydni’s arm as she reaches to open her car door. I’m not letting her walk with me into my house. This is going to end right here in the car.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. “Do you need help getting out of the car?”
“No. We need to talk.”
“Okay, let’s go inside and talk then. You can send Kenzi home now, she’s just been pet sitting.”
“No.”
She turns in the seat with a confused look. “No what?”
“We’re not together, Syd. Nothing has changed. I appreciate you coming to the hospital and driving me home, but now I want you to leave.”
She frowns at me like I’m an unruly child. “What are you talking about? You said you wanted to give us another chance, Tor.”
“I said I would think about it after your tour if you didn’t sleep with anyone. But a lot has changed since then.”
“I don’t understand. I’ve been here for you. What could have changed?”
“A lot, actually, and I’m sorry, but we’re not getting back together. Ever.”
She shakes her head, her mouth twisting in confusion. “I saw the ring with your stuff at the hospital, Tor. It was in the bag with your clothes.”
I cringe and brace myself. Of course, I would get hit by a car after picking up an engagement ring – I hope it’s not some kind of bad omen.
“The ring isn’t for you.” I say quietly.
I’m pissed at her for even touching something she had no right to be anywhere near, getting her bad mojo all over it. Now I’m going to have to burn sage next to it.
“What?” she asks.
I turn to face her and my ribs scream in pain. “It’s not for you. I’m sorry, Sydni.”
“Then who the hell is it for?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“What the fuck, Tor? Are you insane? Did you just meet someone recently and decide to get married? Just like that?”
I shake my head slowly. “No. It’s someone I’ve had feelings for for a long time.”
She stares at me, dumbfounded. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Is it Lisa?”
“No.”
“Then who?”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“Why the hell not? Don’t I have a right to know?”
I let out a sick laugh. “No, you really fucking don’t.”
“We’ve been in a relationship forever, Tor. You don’t think I deserve to know how you just suddenly fell in love and are going to propose to them? That’s supposed to be me!”
“At one time I thought it could have been you. But I was never enough for you. You always wanted or needed someone else. Several someone elses. Face it, Sydni; you don’t want to be married. You just want to know I’m yours. You want a safety net.” I look towards the house, my heart pulling me to go inside and see the woman who does love and want me. “And I’m not going to be that for you.”
It bothers me that she’s hurting, and that she jumped to a crazy conclusion after she went through my things and got her hopes up. Of course I care about her, because she’s right – we do have a history together, but it’s over for us.
“Well, good luck, Tor. I hope she’s everything you want.” She says bitterly.
She is.
“I still care about you, Syd. And I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“Just get out.” She pushes my arm, right over the raw, tore up section that’s covered in bandages, and I see stars for a moment from the pain.
Fuckin’ bitch.
I climb out of the car, my body still stiff from pain, and walk slowly to the front door as Sydni backs out of my driveway and peels out down the street. Kenzi opens the door for me, then closes it when I get inside. Diogee and Kitten are waiting with her, the dog wagging his tail and howling at me while the kitten rubs all over my legs. This is how I want to come home every day, only without being beat to hell.
Kenzi stares up at me, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Can I hug you?” she asks. “Or will it hurt?”
I snake my arm around her and pull her against me. “You better hug me, Angel,” I whisper, burying my face in her hair. “I don’t care if you crack another rib. Just don’t let me go.”