I literally cannot even breathe as I try to memorize what he just said to me. I have a feeling there is not much more that he or anyone else could ever say to me, that could possibly hold more love and meaning.
“I am your forever, Tor. And you’re mine.”
“So what do we do?”
I take a deep breath. What can we do?
“I think we should give ourselves some time together before we tell anyone. To make sure that this is what we both want. And then we can tell my dad and everyone else and hope for the best. And if for some reason we realize we’re just not good as a couple, then we end it and no one has to know it ever happened.” He frowns at me and I know he hates the idea of seeing me behind my father’s back. “Tor, I think it’s the best way.”
“I don’t like either one of us deceiving your father. Or anyone else. I hate lies and deception.”
“I do, too. I just think we need to be sure before we create a bunch of stress for everyone. Including ourselves.”
His brow creases with worry and his fingers squeeze mine tighter. “Do you have doubts? About us?”
“Not at all. But as you said before, this is a new level for us. To be together in this way.”
“I don’t think I’m going to have any doubts, Kenzi. Ever. You’re what I want. I love you.”
If he were to say those words a million times, I will never get tired of hearing them. Every time he says them, they sound different on his lips, and they sound different to my ears, like a melody that has a different note each time it’s played. The same but never predictable. They’re not just words that he repeats like a parrot. With Tor, every word comes from his heart. That’s what I want for my forever. Words that I can believe to be true no matter what.
I drag myself back into the conversation, even though I only want to sit here and listen to his voice and feel the warmth of his hand on my leg and enjoy how being close to him makes my skin tingle.
“Tor, I feel the same way. I think our biggest hurdle is going to be my father. I’m worried about hurting him. I’m afraid it will ruin your relationship with him, and that will kill me to see you both hurt, because of me. And on top of all that, I don’t want him to be disappointed in me, or feel betrayed in any way.”
“All my thoughts exactly.” He blows out a deep breath and I can tell he’s worried about all the things I pointed out just as much as I am. “I wish this was easier,” he says. “But it’s not. It might not ever be.”
“I know. Let’s just give ourselves until my he’s back from the tour, okay? We can’t turn his whole world upside down when he’s been working so hard.”
“You’re right. But it can’t go on for months like that, Kenzi. We’re not going to sneak around and lie to the people we love for months on end. I don’t want you to be that type of person.”
“Alright,” I agree. “When he gets back, we’ll talk to him.”
He gently picks up the kitten and lays her on the floor next to the dog, then stands and reaches for my hand to pull me up to my feet and directly into his arms.
“So…are we together now? A couple?” I ask nervously.
“I think we’ve always been together,” he bends down and kisses my lips. “But yeah, we became a couple the moment I took you into my bedroom.”
I want to jump up and down and freak out with happiness but I force myself to remain calm.
For about two seconds.
“So you’re my boyfriend now?” I ask excitedly, bouncing on my toes.
An adorable grin spreads across his face. “That’s how it works. I’m yours. You’re mine.”
I circle my arms around his waist and stare up at him as waves of happiness ripple through me. My brain is frozen, stuck on his words.
“Wow.” I squeak.
“Wow?” he repeats.
“I’m so happy. This feels so right with you…I don’t even have the words to describe it.”
“Then don’t talk…show me.” Tor can pop his internal clutch and switch gears from nice and sweet to dark and sensual with lightning speed. My mind and body follow him into the fast lane, and I’m instantly quivering and wet.
I pull his head down to kiss him and reach for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up. We part just long enough for me to pull the shirt over his head and then our mouths crash together again. I wrap my arms around him and revel in the size of him and the feel of his hard muscles under my hands. I could touch him for hours and be completely content. Grabbing my hair, he gently pulls my head away from his lips and guides my face down to the center of his chest.