“See that’s what I’m worried about. What you just said. You don’t think it’s sick that I can feel this way for her when I took care of her when she was a baby? What does that say about me?”
“I don’t think it’s that black and white; you’re not related to her. Even though you babysat her, and she called you uncle, you were still just a friend, Tor. That’s what you have to focus on. You’re a friend who helped your friends take care of their kid because they were only fifteen years old when they had her. You were just a kid yourself. You pretty much grew up with her. None of this is a normal situation, so how could there have been a normal result?”
I lean my elbows on the table and put my pounding head in my hands. “I don’t know. I just want us to be able to be together and be happy, but I feel like people will crucify me.”
“Stop beating yourself up, Toren. You haven’t done anything wrong. You fell in love. Look at the world we live in. Falling in love with your best friend’s daughter who’s fifteen years younger than you is nothing in the grand scheme of things, trust me. She’s a legal adult now and she can make her own decisions. ‘Nuff said.”
“We’re afraid of throwing Asher over the edge. He’s all fucked up over Ember still. I don’t think he can take another blow.”
“I understand that, and it’s great that you both care about him, but you and Kenzi deserve to have your happiness. The world didn’t stop just because of what happened to his wife. I know it sucks and it’s devastating and heartbreaking and I hate to be harsh, but that’s the facts, Tor. You can’t tip toe around him forever.”
She stands, comes around the table, and puts her arms around me. “You’re a good guy. You took care of all of us when Daddy died, and you took care of Kenzi and Asher when they needed you. You deserve to be happy. And if Asher can’t see that you’re the best guy in the world for his daughter? Then he’s insane. No one will love her like you do.”
“Thanks, kiddo,” I squeeze her arm. “I just have to get my head straight.”
“You will.” She lets me go and crosses her arms to study me. “You’re just going to have to be patient with her, Tor. As mature as she might be, she’s still young, just like me. We want to have fun, be a little stupid sometimes, sow some oats, ya know?”
“I know.”
“So if she acts crazy sometimes, you’re going to have to let her. Have fun with her, don’t be too serious. You’re the boyfriend now, not the uncle. You can’t control her and assert authority over her or she’ll resent you.”
I hadn’t really thought about all that yet. I wonder if when Kenzi turns twenty-one if she’ll be one of those girls that wants to go to clubs and stay out all night partying. I already went through that. I can’t picture her doing that based on how she is now, but Tesla’s right—who knows what the future will bring?
“Great.”
“Tor…” she warns. “Just take it one day at a time.”
I nod at her, still feeling overwhelmed. “I’ll try.”
“And smile.” She adds.
“I’m smiling on the inside.” I tease, grinning.
“Not good enough.”
“I’ll work on it.” My cell phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from Kenzi on my screen.
Kenzi: I got maybe two seconds of sleep last night. I can’t stop thinking about you.
“See? Now that’s a smile,” Tesla says, eyeing me. “Lemme guess. A text from Kenzi?”
“Yeah.”
Me: I know the feeling. ;) Get some sleep, Angel. I’m going to see you soon. At Tesla’s now then going to the shop. I’ll call you when I get there. I love you.
Kenzi: Tell her I said hi. I love you, too. Sooooo much.
“Okay, Tor. I said smile, not look like the joker.” My sister teases.
I put my phone away and grin at her. “This is what she does to me. She says hi, by the way.”
“Tell her I said hi back when you talk to her.”
“I will. I should get going, I’m supposed to be at work.” I stand and push my chair under the table. “Thanks for the talk, Tess.”
“I’m glad you came to me. I love you a lot, ya know.”
“I love you, too.”
“You and Kenzi can come here together anytime. I won’t tell anyone. If you just want to hang out with another person someplace safe… you’re both welcome here. Or if she needs someone to talk to, she can come to me. I haven’t talked to her in a while, but I still think of her as a friend.”