"I don't own hiking clothes, Jason. Especially if that," she gestured toward his sweater with a sneer, "is considered hiking clothes. What shade of brown is that, exactly?"
"This?" Pulling on the hem of the sweater, he glanced down and shrugged. "I don't know. It's just brown."
"It's hideous is what it is. Not that anybody should ever be caught dead in that color, but you are a clear spring. You should wear bright colors. The brown washes you out."
"A clear spring?" His expression went from amused to baffled. Combined with the adorable thick-rimmed glasses he insisted on wearing, he looked every bit the nerd the boys always accused him of being. "What the hell is a clear spring?"
"It's your color palette. My sisters and I are all deep autumn. So we look better in darker colors and jewel tones. Like this." She held up a sweater in a deep plum color. "See how it makes my eyes pop?"
"You'd look good in a paper sack,tesoro. That still doesn't tell me why you're not dressed."
"Well, you can't expect me to wear this into the woods!"
"Why not? Wait." In what she'd come to recognize as his 'frustrated beyond words' move, he slipped off his thick glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me that sweater did not cost more than fifty dollars."
"Of course, it did. I'm not a savage, Jason Campbell."
"You're not a— Jesus Christ," he mumbled, "wait here."
"Where are you going?"
"Wait there," he called in response before disappearing into the hall again. He returned a few minutes later with a pair of old, worn hiking boots and a heavy-looking yellow sweater. "Here. Wear this. Ro won't care if it gets messed up."
Eyeing the sweater with mistrust, she tried again. "Jason, this is ridiculous. Let's just stay here."
"No. You are not getting out of this just because you refuse to wear a sweater that isn't in your color palette, whatever the hell that is. Put it on, or I can spank you again and you can put it on anyway."
"But—"
"One."
"Fine." Snatching the sweater from his outstretched hand, she yanked it over her head, pretending not to notice how soft and cozy it was. "When we get out of here, I'm buying her a whole new wardrobe. Mustard yellow is not a good color for us."
"Evelyn."
The warning note in his voice made her bottom clench. "Sorry." With a shrug, she sent him another pleading look. "I just don't like hiking."
"Have you ever been?"
"Sure," she deadpanned, reaching for the boots before dropping onto the floor and yanking them on. "Can't you just see my parents traipsing around the woods in muddy boots, swatting at flies, and relaxing to the sounds of whatever lives in the woods?"
"Dial back the sarcasm, little one. The woods are filled with perfectly good switches just waiting to be cut and used on a naughty little girl's bottom." The corner of his lip lifted in a smirk. "And it's coyotes."
"What's coyotes?" she asked, tugging at the laces.
"That live in the woods."
"What?" Panicked, she jerked her head up to gape at him. "No they don't! They live in the desert!"
"They do. They also live in the woods," he explained, holding out a hand to help her back to her feet. "They're very adaptable."
"I am not going into the woods with coyotes!"
"I told you, little one." Bending at the waist, he scooped her up and easily tossed her over his shoulder. "Daddy will protect you." Laughing, he swatted her bottom as he carted her out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen where everyone was waiting for them.
"Daddy, stop! I am not going in the woods!"
"Jesus, Fancy. You'll survive getting a little dirty. Just think of the hot bath you can have afterward." Rolling her eyes, Ro passed Jason a coat.