“How’s what?” I ask in confusion.
“You know.It.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me suggestively, and I can’t help but giggle.
“It’s not like that. Well, it’s a little like that, but we haven’t had sex. I’m not sure he wants to. He won’t make a move, and every sign I throw out that I’m ready, he just ignores.”
“Oh, he wants to. Believe me. I bet he’s just trying to take it slow. Dante’s a good man. You might have to actually verbalize that you want him to pop that cherry instead of just dropping hints.”
That’s an interesting and embarrassing thought. Actually saying out loud that I’m ready to have sex with him seems cringeworthy, but then again, if I can’t talk about it, maybe I’m not ready.
“So, is it just a sex thing for you? Are you just trying to lose your virginity?”
“How can you say that?” I’m a little indignant that she would even suggest such a thing. She should know me better than that. “If that’s all I wanted, I could have slept with any number of guys years ago. It’s just that Dante... well, he’s amazing. Yeah, he’s sexy, but he’s also kind, and funny, and so smart. He makes me laugh. Can you believe that sometimes we actually lie on the couch together and he just reads to me? I never thought I could simultaneously feel so comfortable and so turned on by a man.” I look back at Hollie and she has a grin a mile wide on her face. She knew this wasn’t about sex for me. She was goading me.
“You love him.” I can feel my cheeks turn pink, and I look away, staring at her empty bedroom walls.
“Yeah, I do,” I say softly, admitting it for the first time. “I’ve always said it was just a crush, and I guess that it mostly was. But then I started spending time with him, and it became so much more than that. Now, I’m absolutely screwed because I told him we should keep things casual, but truthfully, I want so much more than that. I want everything with him.”
“Violet, I don’t think he wants this thing to be as casual as you think he does.”
“No, he really does. He’s told me how he doesn’t want to be a dad again, and I want to have children, Hollie. I’m not sure that’s something I can compromise on.”
“You never know. He could change his mind about that.”
“Maybe. But even if he did, what about my parents? They would lose their shit. And then there’s Bianca. I’ve been justifying not telling her because this thing isn’t anything serious. If it became something more, I’d have to let her know, and she would hate me. I can’t lose her.”
“I feel like you’re underestimating Bianca. I don’t think she’d have as big of a problem with it as you think she would.”
“How can you say that? She’s been pushing Amanda and Dante together for weeks. All she wants is for her parents to get back together. She’ll absolutely hate me.”
“All I know is that if she hears it from someone else, or if she finds out some other way, it’s going to be much worse than if you tell her yourself.”
I drop my head into my hands, exhausted from going around and around in my head about this. “I know. I know you’re right, but if this is just going to be a fling between Dante and me, then I don’t want to upset her. You won’t tell her, will you?” I look up at her pleadingly.
“Look, you know I won’t go running to her and telling her about you two. It’s not my business. But if she figures out that something is up, asks me straight out if something is going on between you two, I can’t lie.”
I just nod my head. That’s fair. It wouldn’t be right to ask Hollie to lie for me, and I wouldn’t want her to.
“But considering how wrapped up she seems to be with our new next-door neighbors, I don’t think we have anything to worry about,” she says with a smile.
“Oh man, did I tell you she actually babysat for him a few weeks ago?”
“What?!” Hollie exclaims in shock.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. He must have cast some kind of spell on her. She actually seemed excited to watch his nephew. She packed up a bunch of her art supplies and brought them over there and everything.”
“And we’re sure this kid is still alive?” she asks, only partly in jest.
“As far as I know.” We’re both grinning at each other and again a melancholy washes over me. “I’m going to miss this. Who am I going to talk to about Bianca’s level of crazy?”
“Stop, you’re going to make me cry,” she says before wiping at her eyes. “I’m just a phone call or text away. Besides, how long do you think it’s going to be before both Paige and Archer are driving me crazy and I need to escape? I mean, do you know what they’re doing right now? He’s taken my sister, who’s never owned anything other than secondhand jeans and tee shirts, to his personal shopper at Nordstrom. He wanted to take her to Saks, but I had to draw the line somewhere. I know when I get back he’s going to have spent a small fortune on her. She’s going to be spoiled rotten in no time.”
Even though Hollie is complaining, I know that she’s thrilled Archer has taken such a liking to her little sister. She might complain about Paige being spoiled, but I can tell she’s thrilled that she’s going to have things and opportunities that Hollie herself never had.
“Well, whenever they drive you too crazy, you come over here and visit me.”
“That’s if you’re actually here and not over at Dante’s.” She makes obscene kissing noises, and I can’t help but laugh, grabbing a nearby pillow and throwing it at her. How this girl can manage the day-to-day life of one of the most powerful men in the city and still act like a thirteen-year-old I’ll never know. I’m just happy she’s my friend. And even though I hate to admit it, she’s right. If things continue on with Dante much longer, I’m going to have to tell Bianca. I can only hope that she won’t hate me after she finds out.
EIGHTEEN