“Why don’t I go get Hollie so your dad can give you yours now?” I head to the French doors that lead to the backyard and the rest of the guests. I need to get out of here, my emotions are a mess. How many times have I told myself that I had to get over this silly schoolgirl crush on Dante Moreno to no avail? It’s painfully apparent now that if I don’t make a genuine effort, I’m going to be hung up on this unattainable man forever. The time’s come to walk the walk and move on. It won’t be easy but there’s nothing else for me to do.
ONE
Violet
“Hey, Violet! Wait up!”
At the sound of my name, I step out of the stream of students flooding the hallway and press my back against the wall, hugging my messenger bag of books and laptop against my body. I glance at where the voice came from and spy Tyler Crosson fighting the flow of pedestrian traffic to get to me.
Like myself, Tyler was an English major before graduate school, and we’ve shared a few of the same classes over the years. We’ve spoken sporadically and have always been friendly with one another, happy to share notes and study guides. This year we’re both in the same Theory and Practice of Literary Criticism seminar. Believe me, the class is as boring as it sounds and that’s coming from a literature nerd.
“Hey, Tyler, how are you?” He finally makes it to where I’m leaning against the wall and stops in front of me, a wide smile on his face, while the rest of the students of Branson College go about their business.
“I’m great, thanks. How are you liking Dr. Muzio’s class so far?”
“Well, he’s certainly . . . thorough.”
Tyler lets out a laugh. “Yeah, I think he’s boring as hell too. I was hoping that we could exchange notes, maybe get together and study. You know, join forces.”
“Sounds like a good idea,” I say.
“And maybe we could hang out sometime? You know, not just to study?”
Oh god, is he asking me out? Or is he just trying to find a study partner for this class? I’m so bad at this. Tyler Crosson is exactly the type of guy I should be going for. He’s attractive enough in that boy-next-door type of way. With sandy blond hair, blue eyes, and that tall-but-not-too-tall height. I’m sure there are plenty of girls on campus that would be happy to go out with him. He’s always been nice enough to me but unfortunately, I’ve never felt even the slightest twinge of attraction toward him.
I’ve dated here and there during my four years at Branson, but it’s always been with guys that perused me and it’s never lead to anything more than a few lackluster dates and some awkward fooling around. To be honest, there’s really been nothing wrong with any of the guys I’ve dated. It’s just that when I’m sitting there across the table from them at dinner, talking about getting drunk or where the big party is going to be that weekend, all I can think, besides how boring that all sounds, is they’re nothim.
I’m not naïve enough to believe that I’m actually in love with Dante Moreno. I don’t know him well enough for that. This entire crush started with an intense attraction to an admittedly gorgeous man that showed me kindness on a day I was anxious and in need of help. Over the years, each little interaction I’ve had with him has deepened that attraction until I’ve placed him up on a pedestal as my perfect man. To be honest, it’s a fantasy I’m sure not even Dante himself could live up to.
I’ve been telling myself that I need to move on for years but after the graduation party he threw a couple months ago, I decided to really make an effort to move on from the fantasy of Dante Moreno. Being hung up on him has been holding me back from maybe finding someone of my own and I really do want that for myself. I’ve started pulling back, not joining Bianca so often on outings with her dad, which she always invites me to. I’ve been concocting excuse after excuse the past few months, and frankly, I’m surprised she hasn’t called me out on it yet.
Now that I’ve managed to put a little space between us, phase two of my plan is to get myself out there and start dating. There has to be someone out there for me who isn’t my best friend’s dad who will never see me as anything more than a child.
I’ve never been the type of person that needs to surround herself with tons of people. The small group of close friends that I keep have kept me happy over the years, but recently I’ve started craving more, the kind of emotional and physical intimacy that you can only share with a romantic partner. I want what I’ve only read about in romance novels. I’m twenty-three years old and have never had an actual relationship.
My mother has been trying to set me up for years with a long parade of my father’s business associates and her friends’ sons. She has them just waiting in the wings for when I finally cave to her constant nagging. Going out with one of her “socially acceptable” picks would certainly get her off my back but I’m afraid if I give her that inch, she’ll have me sold to one for four goats and a blanket before the end of the night.
I suppose going out with Tyler would kill two birds with one stone. I can get my mother off my back and maybe find someone to help me move on from my little infatuation. What better way to put my plan into action than by agreeing to go out with Tyler? I mean attraction doesn’t have to always be immediate, sometimes it can grow. At least, that’s what I’ve read.
“That actually sounds great, Tyler, I’d like that.”
“Yeah? Really?”
“You seem surprised,” I say.
“Well, I feel like I’ve been dropping hints about asking you out for years and you’ve never seemed very interested. I figured I should finally bite the bullet and just ask or give it up once and for all.”
“You have?” I ask in surprise. “I honestly had no idea. To be honest, I’m terrible with this kind of thing so you might have to be a little patient with me.”
He shoots me a grin and runs his fingers through his messy blond hair. “I can do that. Is your number still the same from when we had Comp Lit last year?” I give him a nod and a smile. “Great. I’ll text you so we can set something up.” He reaches forward and I force myself to not flinch as he brushes away a strand of my hair that’s fallen forward into my face. What can I say? I’m not used to people touching me.
My heart starts beating a little faster than it was before. Someone likes me! Someone nice who has the same interests as me. Well, reading at the very least. This could be the start of something. I told myself I was going to move on and I’m doing it.Go me!
“Listen, I’ve got to run to my next class but I’ll text you soon.”
“Okay, thanks,” I answer, pulling the strap of my bag up higher onto my shoulder.
“Soon, Violet,” he reiterates before turning and hustling down the hallway that’s emptied of harried students.