She kept her eyes cast down as they walked to the creek. She wanted to berate herself for the feelings she could not tamp down. Her body and mind would not obey logic or reason. She felt riddled with a sudden desire to cry.
“You move quickly, Aida,” Cole said, taking her hand in his and marching her along swiftly. “How’s that backside feelin’?”
She raised her head sharply to look at him. “Sore,” she said.
He pursed his lips. “Good. You gonna behave yourself?”
“Of course,” she said with a toss of her head.
He slowed, and his voice dipped down. “Try that again, darlin’.”
Aida inhaled, then exhaled slowly. She didn’t want to call him Daddy again.
It troubled her how much she liked it.
But she also didn’t want to land herself over his lap again, either.
“Yes, Daddy,” she said. “I’ll be a little angel.”
His eyes warmed at that, and he tugged her a bit closer. “That’s a good girl,” he said. “I like hearing you say that.”
“Which part?” she asked before she thought, her mouth getting ahead of her. “The part about being an angel, or when I call you Daddy?”
They walked in silence toward the creek, and he didn’t respond at first. In the quiet that lay between them for several seconds, Aida regretted her question. But when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly gentle. Sincere, even.
“Daddy. I like hearing you call me Daddy.”
Now that he was actually speaking to her rather than ordering her or chastising her, she couldn’t help but push further. “Why?”
His jaw clenched. “Because I’m a sick bastard, sweetheart.”
No. No, he wasn’t. Yes, he’d whipped her. He’d taken her. But she couldn’t believe it, no matter how hard she tried. She simply couldn’t believe this man was evil. And though part of her wanted to stop her mind from behaving with such naïveté, she felt there could be honesty between them. What did she have to lose?
“You’re not,” she said. “I know you’re not. You’re more like me than you care to admit.”
He scoffed at that as they reached the creek’s edge, and when he turned to her, his eyes had hardened. “I’m a spoiled little princess?” he leered.
A lump rose in her throat and she yanked her hand away from him. Maybe he wasn’t good deep down after all. Maybe hewasa sick bastard. She wouldn’t look at him.
No,she wanted to say.Not spoiled.
Angry. Hurt. Guarded.
Like me.
But what difference did it make anyway? She was already tainted, damaged goods, her innocence having been stripped from her long ago and no one would ever love her the way she longed to be loved.
She would not bridge the gap between them. She’d obey him to avoid being whipped again, and plan her escape.
* * *
The minute the words left his mouth, Cole wanted to kick himself. They’d come so far, and she’d finally begun to trust him, and when she let her guard down for a minute, he’d slammed the door on her. Her eyes had shuttered. Her hand had pulled away from him, and he’d let her.
This was only about regressing to where they’d been, and he’d have to get her back in his good graces. At least he told himself that. Then why did he feel a deep pang of regret in his gut? Why did he want to pull her close to him and apologize? Why did he want to kiss her, and see her eyes trusting and open again?
He waited in stony silence while she freshened by the creek, then he took her back to camp. Right before they reached the others, he pulled her close to him. He had to make her feel a little better.
“Anything could happen in the next town, Aida. You stay by my side and do as you’re told.” She pulled her chin away but he yanked her face back to his with one swift move. “You know what’ll happen.”