He held out his hands. “Your mother was worried about the effect it would have on you. She didn’t want to dwell on the past, she was adamant, right from the off. She said we should start afresh, so as not to confuse you any more than absolutely necessary.” He sighed. “I respected that.”
“Whydid you respect that? She lied to you, for more than a decade.”
“Because I respected your mother, Katie. I respected her judgement. I still do.”
I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Is that why you fired her? Cast her aside like a stray dog? Was that yourrespect?”
“It was never like that.” He looked right at me. “I made mistakes. I didn’t do right by your mother, Katie. Lord knows I didn’t, and Lord knows I regret it, but with you…” He paused. “I would have been there for her, I would have been there for you.But it was too late. I’d already done the damage.” He put his head in his hands. “I loved your mother, with God as my witness, I loved your mother dearly, but I’d lost the fight. It was over for her.”
“You didn’t fight very hard,Dad. Not forlove. Not for the baby she was carrying!”
“She told me it was too late.” His eyes were so sad. “Told me she wanted nothing to do with me.”
“And you accepted that?” I tried not to glare at him.
“Things were difficult enough at home. I had the boys and Olivia was carrying Verity. I tried to make the best choices, but everything I did was wrong, Katie. I was wrong to try again with Olivia, I was wrong to cast out your mother, I was wrong to accept her word about the termination, knowing she’d already lied to me once about you.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“She left without telling me she was pregnant. Not a single word on the subject. I found out through a friend of hers.”
“And she told you it was too late?”
“Yes, she told me it was too late. And I believed her.”
I met his eyes, and he was telling thetruth. I could feel my own emotions, bubbling around, but I kept breathing, kept my cool. “Mum loved you.”
“And I loved her.”
“But you were still sleeping with your wife? You must have been.”
He shook his head. “It was once. One last ditch attempt at salvaging something for the boys.”
“Convenient,” I scoffed.
“I don’t expect you to believe me.”
“I don’t knowwhatto believe.” I took a steadying breath. “I thought I knew everything, thought I understood everything, but I didn’t. I don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
I smiled, fought back the tears in my eyes. “Yeah, you and everyone else.”
“I should have told you.”
“Yes, you should. Maybe things could have been different. Maybe we’d have had more of a chance.” I sighed. “I never gave you a chance. I never hadreasonto give you a chance.”
“That’s my own fault,” he said. “I handled it all wrong. I know that now.” He looked straight at me, eyes glassy. “I was just so… overwhelmed. I treated the situation like I treated everything inlife, just dived right in, tried to make the best of it, but it was the wrong call.”
“I didn’t belong there… not with you… not ever…”
“You did, Katie,” he said. “I just handled it so badly you didn’tfeellike you belonged there.”
“Maybeyouthink so,” I scoffed. “But not Verity! Not Olivia! Not the boys!” I wiped away the threatening tears. “They hated me!”
He held up his hands. “And that was my fault, too. I didn’t prepare them, didn’t warn them, just tried to throw you all together. They were as shocked as you were, as shocked as I was.”
“But I wasn’t mean! I wasn’t spiteful and nasty and cruel.”