James must have sensed my difficulty in sharing. He discarded the squash ball, bouncing it around all three sides of the court, then crossed his legs, relaxing into his pose. “I can’t imagine for a second that Cat would ask me to switch. She simply isn’t that type of woman.”
“Quite.”
“But if she did, I would have to consider it carefully.”
I met his eyes. “You’d consider it?”
“I would definitely consider it. I love Cat. If she felt the need enough to switch that she asked the question, I’d be a fool not to consider it seriously. I’d want to consider it.”
His honesty surprised me. “But you’re no submissive, James, no more than I am. How would that work?”
“That’s what I’d need to consider,” he said. “Whether I could offer her that, genuinely. After all, if it’s not genuine, if it’s not authentic, there would be no point. She’d be better off finding someone else to fulfil that part of her, if it were that important, and I wouldn’t resent her that.”
“Don’t you think you’d just keep your mouth shut and take one up the ass for the team, to keep her quiet?”
He grinned. “No. Unfortunately, I don’t think that. You’ve been around, Andy, you know what it’s like to take on a scene with a submissive who isn’t really feeling it. We’ve all been there. The woman whothinksit’s what she wants, who’s playacting to be cool, who’s so full of bravado that she doesn’t let you anywhere near the part of her that really matters, theinside. That’s not what we want when we’re on top, we want the real deal. We want a sub who’s all in.” He paused, and I let him find his words. “If Cat asked me to switch and take a turn as her submissive, I’d want to apply myself fully to it, or not at all. I think it would do more harm than good to just go through the motions. She’d know I wasn’t feeling it, she’d know I was there in body but not in spirit, and that would only cause her frustration. I demand a lot from her as my submissive. I demand that she’s honest, and willing, and devoted, and that she applies herself wholeheartedly to the dynamic of our situation. Why should she expect any less from me if the roles were reversed?”
He had a point. “I don’t know if I can do it, James. I’m talking for real here. I don’t know if I can genuinely submit. I don’t even know how I’d know.” I sighed. “It’s not the pain, that doesn’t worry me, it’s… I don’t know…”
“I get it,” he said, and I’m sure he did. “You have to work out whether you can give yourself to her, whether you can look into her eyes like she’s everything, whether you canbelieveshe’s everything, whether you can kneel before her and see her for the goddess she is, whether you can feel that genuine humility, that genuine desire to serve her without holding back.”
I sighed. “It’s a pain in the fucking arse.”
“Literally, if she gets her way,” he smiled. “Look, Andy, Faye is a beautiful, exotic, vivacious woman. If you want her enough to actually consider putting yourself on the line for her, then I’m confident you’ll find what you need when the time comes.”
“I’m not sure I could serveanyonewithout holding back, even a woman like Faye.Especiallya woman like Faye, she irritates the living fucking shit out of me.”
“Think about it,” he said. “Make the right call. For both of you.”
No fucking pressure.
I checked my watch and he checked his, and we both drew the same conclusion.
“Same time next week,” he said.
“Indeed.” I shook his hand. “Thanks, James, I really appreciate the insight.”
His handshake was solid, like him. “Any time, my friend.”
I gathered my bag, and checked my phone again. Still no messages, Faye still asleep in bed, no doubt. I waved James off with a smile. “I’ll see you on Saturday, for cake and party games.”
“Maybe,” he smirked. “I’ll be a lot harder to spot in a whole roomful of masks. I might feel emasculated, insignificant.”
“Yeah fucking right,” I laughed, then thought it through. “Why the masks?”
“It’s the theme,” he shrugged. “At least that’s what I fathomed from the email. Truth or Dare, Venetian style.”
“Venetian style?!” My blood ran fucking cold and James stopped in his tracks.
“Is there a problem?”
I forced down the surprise, pasted on a smile. “No, no. I’m sure Faye just forgot to mention it.”
“I guess she did.” His eyes were filled with questions but he didn’t pry. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”
***
“Venetian night? What the fuck are you doing organising a Venetian night? Like there’s anything about that fucking place you’d want to remember.”