Her eyes twinkled. “Planning on making a habit of it?”
I sniffed my cocktail and pulled a face. Oh, the fumes. “I don’t plan for much these days, Topaz. Life has a habit of becoming a little… unpredictable.”
“You can say that again.” She leaned back against the fridge, and her fingers began their twiddling at her lip ring. “Is Mr Morgan angry with me?”
“He’ll act like it,” I said. Her face dropped, totally nervous and unbelievably cute. “No. He isn’t angry with you, he’ll have the same stick up his arse that he usually has.”
“Is he angry withyou?” she asked. “Is that why you’re on bar already?”
I shrugged. “He didn’t have chance to put me on bar this morning, I was already in here by the time he’d finished showering.”
“Oh,” she said, and it was heavy with the unspoken.
“Oh?”
She dithered as she formed her response. “Well, I mean… I guess it could be… awkward… are you avoiding him?”
“Meavoidinghim? No.” But Iwasavoiding him. I’d been avoiding him all morning. The harsh reality of the morning after, waking up face to face with someone you’ve blatantly overstepped the boundaries with, who you’ve baked under the spotlight of humiliation for, confessed uncomfortable truths about jealousy, and past lovers, and filthy fantasies that should never see the light of day, and… urgh. It was horrendous. And webothfelt it, not just me. He’d untangled himself and jumped off that gurney so quickly there wasn’t even time for agood morning.I tipped a healthy dose of blackcurrant into the mix. “Maybe I am avoiding him. Just a little.” I turned to face her, resting my elbows on the bar top like this was the most casual conversation in the universe. “So,” I said. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah… I’m cool.”
“Sure about that?”
She looked away from me and smiled. “Yeah, I’m very cool. The whole thing was a bit of a surprise, but I’m good.”
“A surprise?” I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve read all three Magpie books, and that little thing last night came as a surprise to you?”
She blushed, pretty in pink. “I just didn’t expect it. I really didn’t expect you to choose me and I super really didn’t expect to see Mr Morgan as a, um…”
“As a, um?”
“Submissive,” she finished. “I wouldn’t have ever imagined him that way. Not ever.”
I laughed, hard. Hard and way too bitterly. “Mr Morgan is no bloody submissive. He’s just a dom counting down the seconds until it’s his turn in charge. He tolerates, grudgingly. He’s nothing like a submissive. The man couldn’t genuinely kneel if his life depended on it.”
“And that bothers you,” she said, and it wasn’t a question.
I shook my head. “It doesn’tbotherme, it’s just… frustrating. It’s impossible to have a fifty-fifty relationship with someone who constantly demands a mile and won’t give an inch. Not an inch that they care about, anyway.” The jig in my stomach turned up a notch. “Andy will give an inch, but it’s an inch under duress, and it’s always an inch that doesn’t stretch him any. He’ll give youthatinch, then make a big deal about it, like you should be grateful.” I sighed. “Fuck it.” I raised the glass to her and sampled my cocktail. It was pretty rancid but it hit the right spot.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“About what?” I said. “Andy? I don’t know what there is to say.”
“I think there’s a lot to say…” Her hands twisted in front of her, and it took me straight back to the night before, her riding his cock, then kissing his sopping wet mouth as I forced her face to his. I was horny and jealous again, all at the same time.
“You like him,” she smiled. “Likereallylike him. Not a crush thing like I have, I meanreally really. But that bothers you, too, doesn’t it? Why?”
She’d nailed it. Nailed me. “What’s with the x-ray intuition today?” I spun my cocktail glass on the bar top, around and around in tiny little circles. “Yes, I like Andy. I always liked him, but that isn’t why I came back here. I came back for me, for my old life, for my share of the club. Andy was supposed to be a sweet little distraction, not a sweet little fuck-up.”
“And now you’re in deep.” She tipped her pretty little head from side to side. “Maybe he could still be the one who really means something… like you said in the book? Maybe it just wasn’t the right time back then?”
“It was abettertime back then,” I said. “Before we got all messed up and angry. BeforeIgot all messed up and angry. Before we both had a big point to prove. When we could just work together without the constant battle.”
“You used to work together without a battle? I can’t imagine that,” she smiled. “You’re both so… determined.”
“Bull-headed, you mean?”
“No,” her smile widened. “I didn’t mean bull-headed.”