Richard drove us to the restaurant and held the door open for me as I exited the car into the crisp night air. The smell of jasmine and roses filled me with hope and a sense of freedom that I could never explain. Walking into that restaurant with two very handsome men on my arms made me feel more powerful than any blood I’ve ever drunk.
The way Richard’s and Jason’s suits had clung to every dip and grove of muscle, the tempting delight of being able to watch as every woman in the restaurant turned their heads, their eyes flashing with envy that I, a simple vampire-hybrid, could stand tall and proud between these two sexy men.
Even the simple way they placed their hands on my lower back while guiding me to the chair that Jason drew out for me, made me feel like anything was possible. After sitting down, Richard gathered the menus, not even giving me a chance to glance at them before ordering for all of us. He spoke in fluent French, so I couldn’t even tell you the name of the meals. I’d always found that to be a pompous move, but Richard pulled it off. From the few memories I had I’d only ever been to a restaurant once with the foster carers before being sent to Laverton, but this place seemed far fancier than the one they took me to.
Watching the staff move around the place while we waited for our meals was like watching a well-rehearsed dance; they moved between the tables and customers like they’d been doing it for years. I felt uncomfortable at first, but once the food arrived and Richard and Jason began talking companionably, I began to relax more.
It took me a while to get the hang of using the different cutlery, but by watching the guys, I figured things out fairly quickly and even managed to enjoy the pasta meal that was placed in front of me for the main course.
The two of them appeared to be well in sync with each other, as though they’d been together for years and it made me wonder if they weretogether.They laughed and joked, chatted and leaned towards each other, only making my assumptions that much more.
Of course I found out much later that they weren’t together like that, but at the time…
As relaxed as I was in that moment at the restaurant, I knew in my heart that nothing lasts. Nothing good ever stays the same. Everything I’ve been through since then has only shown me that I was right.
I just wish it wasn’t me who ruined it all.
Even knowing what I’ve done, the thing I regret the most is the fact that I’ll never have the sweet tenderness they reserved for me. I’ll never come home knowing that they’re waiting for me. I’ll miss the loving way they’ve taken care of me. The fact that even at my worst, they’ve been there to guide me through it.
At least they were there, until I fucked it all up and killed Richard. Jason will never forgive me for taking his best friend away. I’ll never forgive myself for the pain I’ve caused him.
I lean my back against the nearest tree and bring my knees to my chest before burying my face in the soft fabric. My entire body shakes as the pain bleeds out of me in sounds that I’ve never heard come out of a human mouth.
“Areyna!” But of course, Remmie of all people would find me. Remington Salvis, sexiest psychopathic geek I’ve ever met. We had a moment together not too long ago. A moment that left me wanting to see if we could have been more than just friends, but not now. I don’t deserve to have more. I don’t even deserve his friendship. Not after what I did.
I’d been in the school’s gardening shed with Remmie when it all began. Things had been great; we were kissing and things were getting quite heavy when Derrin burst in on us. He seemed more shocked than anything at first, then his gaze landed solely on me. I cleared my throat in an effort to break the mounting tension I could feel in the air. “We were just… I got worked up… I mean angry… The cheerleader….” I trailed off unsure exactly how to explain things. I felt like I’d betrayed him in some way but even now I can’t explain in what way I betrayed him.
“Just stop!” The growl that came out of his mouth wasn’t one of anger but one of frustration, of need. As though he wished he’d been the one to hold me in his arms. His chaotic thoughts flashed through my mind, letting me know that my assumption was spot on. He wasn’t angry at all. He was jealous.
Remmie, however, didn't have the luxury of hearing Derrin’s thoughts like I did. He reacted without thinking it through, assuming that Derrin was angry, he leaped past me and in the blink of an eye, he had Derrin pinned to the ground. My breath left me in a rush as he wrapped his hands around Derrin’s throat, threatening to choke the life out of him. “Don’t ever threaten her again!” His shout shook me to my core. I’d never seen Remmie so angry before, but that wasn’t the worst thing that happened.
Remmie had heard my thoughts. Heard them as though I’d spoken out loud just like Derrin hears them. They’d argued about the fact that Remmie had kissed me then the voice had spoken over the school’s loudspeakers, “All students please report to the main hall. This is not a drill.” The words were female, robotic and repeated over and over again. I thought we were safe. I thought that we’d be all right.
I was wrong.
I’m a murderer.
Chaos, pain, darkness, they’re all I can see and feel right now as though with the setting sun, I too have lost my light. Lost is an understatement. I killed someone I love and there’s no going back from something like that. Not now. Not ever.
I’m a murderer.
A killer.
A monster.
“Areyna, snap out of it, we have to go back.” I can feel him shaking my shoulders, but I don’t want to feel anything. My mouth opens to speak but nothing more than a painful keening sound comes out. I want to tell him to go away. To leave me alone but the words just won’t form.
“You’re in shock. I’m going to stand you up. Do you think you can walk?” Remmie lifts me to my feet but I’m not strong enough to stand, the second he lets go, I fall back to my knees. Everything in my stomach comes flying out, splattering his shoes in blood.
I can’t pull my gaze away from the blood staining the ground in front of me. I can’t stop staring at the vibrant colour as it contrasts with the deep ombre of the decaying leaves. I’ve seen blood so many times before. Fresh blood as it’s dripped from open wounds, blood in bags that Richard and Jason tried to feed me with, but this blood, it’s different from all that. This blood…
“It’s Richard’s blood.” I wail as Richard’s face once again fills my mind. He’s all I can see. All I can feel. His bright emerald eyes that always made me feel like I was running through a never-ending forest. His full pouty lips that I dreamed of one day kissing. His thick dark curls that I would give anything to run my fingers through… It’s all tainted by those final moments when I drained the very life out of him. Felt his heart stop beating. I didn’t just feel it, I heard it. That deafening silence that echoed around the classroom. The final nail in my coffin or rather Richard’s coffin as it were.
“Don’t think about that right now. Let’s just get you somewhere safe. Okay?” The world spins as Remmie lifts me into his arms heedless of the mess I’m covered in. He’s stronger than I thought, carrying me effortlessly back through the woods and across the football oval in the blink of an eye. “Torren, Derrin and Jase are waiting for us in the parking lot. We’re nearly there. Just hold on a few more seconds.”
The world goes black before I can respond.
TWO