With a smile tugging at the corners of my lips, I nod. “It’s been a long time coming, and I’m sure. I’m going to New York. It’s the right thing to do.”
“Be careful, Camille. You don’t want to rush into anything you will regret later.”
“Don’t worry, doc. I’m doing what feels right, and this feels right. I know that I’m making the right decision.” I’m aware the timeline looks a little suspicious with Dean coming back into my life, and now I’m ready to get a divorce, but honestly, the decision has nothing to do with Dean. This is the right thing to do. I know it is. Declan and I both need to let each other go. We’re not right for each other.
I decide not to tell her I went off my meds, too worried she might blame my sudden mood change on the fact I'm no longer medicated. I also don't bother mentioning the fact my meds didn't work as they should. I know I promised Spencer I'd talk to Dr. Reynolds, but some promises are okay to break.
At the end of our session, I inform her that I won’t be back. She wishes me luck and tells me that she’ll be here should I ever need her again in the future.
I hope I won't, but just in case, I keep her number in my favorites in my contact list.
I’ve told one person about my life-changing decision, now it’s time to tell my family my news and hope like fucking hell they’ll be as accepting as Dr. Reynolds is.
“Hey, sis!”Spencer beams the moment I sit down at the table across from her at our favorite Mexican restaurant. As soon as my appointment ended, I’d texted her and asked her to meet me here for lunch. I’ve been locked up in Dean’s hotel room for the past week. I’ve been neglecting my sister, so sister time is very needed right now. Especially with the bomb I’m about to drop.
“Thanks for coming, Spence. I missed you.”
She rolls her eyes, takes a tortilla chip from the basket on the table, and dips it into the salsa. “Perhaps if you stopped having so much sex and came up for air once in a while, you could reply to a text so I know you’re okay.” She shoves the salsa-covered chip into her mouth.
Her comment catches me off-guard, but I shrug it off. “I’m sorry my communication skills suck. I’ll work on it.”
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, what’s up? I know you need to tell me something, so spill.” She sits back in her seat, her brown eyes narrowing as she studies me slowly from head to toe, her eyes zoning in on my stomach. “Are you pregnant? Is that what you’re about to tell me?”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. I roll them so dramatically it’s a good chance they’ll get stuck in the back of my head. “Fuck no.” She laughs.
“Well, what is it then?”
“I’m going to New York for a couple of days,” I say casually, reaching forward to get a chip.
“Why? Is there a work issue?” Shit. I realize now that I haven’t told my sister that Declan went back to New York. Damn, my communication lately really does suck.
Wait... if she thinks Declan is still here, then maybe she thinks that's who I'm having sex with. She doesn't know that Dean and I are still involved.
“No, I’m going to see Declan. He went back to New York.” I inhale slowly, preparing to share my news with the second person today. “We’re getting a divorce.” Her eyes widen, and her opens, revealing her chewed-up chip.
“What. The. Fuck,” she whisper-yells, chewing her food and washing it down with a large gulp of water from her glass. “Tell me that I misheard you.”
I shake my head. “We’ve separated, but I’m flying out tomorrow to see him and tell him I want a divorce, not a separation. Plus, I need to check in and see how my New York office is doing anyway, so I kill two birds with one stone.” I shrug my shoulders.
“How are you so calm right now? You’re leaving your husband, and you act as if it’s just another day. What’s your plan, little sis?” She sits back in her chair, her arms crossing over her chest and eyes narrowing on me. “Leave Dec and get with Dean? Is that your plan? Is he leaving his wife?”
“Oh my fuck, Spencer, Dean has nothing to do with my decision," I snap, rolling my eyes. "You know Declan and I have been rocky for a while. You knew this would happen one day. I’ve talked to you about this before.”
“You mentioned divorce briefly years ago. How was I supposed to know that you’ve still been considering it? I knew you two were having problems, but I didn't know he left and that you separated." She sighs, looking at me with disapproval. "I don’t think he’s in a good enough place right now for you to spring a divorce on him. What if he relapses? He just got out of rehab, for crying out loud.” My sister has always been understanding and seen my side on any decision I’ve ever made, so honestly, I’m a little surprised by her reaction. She knows how rocky my marriage has been, how shaky it’s been since the day we said our vows.
This shouldn’t be a surprise.
“You don’t know him like I do. He knows it’s coming; I’ve already told him I want one. That’s why he went back to New York. I may be the one cutting the final string, but he’s not going to be blindsided. Please support me, Spence. I need your support on this.”
"Does he know that you slept with Dean? Is that why you're leaving him? Perhaps it's your guilt?" Her words confirm my suspicion. She has no idea I'm still fucking Dean. "It was only that one time, right?" I stay silent, not wanting to lie any more than I already have.
"Camille, it was only that one time, right?" she asks again, sitting up straighter. I chew on my bottom lip nervously, unable to meet her eyes. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" she hisses. "You're having an affair with a married man?" I know her feelings on the topic, and I haven’t wanted her judgment—the judgment I see in her eyes right now.
Shaking her head, she scoots her chair back. “Your silence is my answer. I need to get back to work. Have a safe flight, Camille, and I hope you know what you’re doing. But don’t be surprised when Dean stays with his wife and doesn’t choose you. It’s not going to end well, and I’m sorry, but I can’t be the shoulder for you to cry on when it all crashes and burns.” She stands, grabbing her purse. “Don’t call me for a while. I need some time.” Without another word, she walks away, breaking my heart with every step.
My sister is my best friend. No matter what I’ve done over the years, she’s never turned her back on me, walked away from me, or denied me when I needed her. Even if I was making a stupid decision, she still supported me and was there for me whether my plans failed or were a success. She’s always been a phone call away.
Now she’s turning her back on me and doesn’t want any part of my plan. My chest aches. I’ve never experienced my sister turning her back on me before. But I should’ve known it would be too much for her.